Vanessa Quote #31

Quote from Vanessa in Everybody Hates Big Bird

Adult Chris: [v.o.] I realized my mistake, and Vanessa realized that going out with Kill Moves wasn't a mistake at all.
Rochelle: You were out all night?
Vanessa: Oh, girl, that's just the start of it. We opened the champagne, headed for the seaport. There was a pink helicopter waiting for me.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] You can hear about the rest of Vanessa's date at


 ‘Everybody Hates Big Bird’ Quotes

Quote from Julius

Chris: The only thing is, she's a little awkward-looking.
Julius: Awkward? Like she has one leg longer than the other?
Chris: No.
Julius: Like she dislocated her shoulder and they put it back wrong?
Chris: No.
Julius: Like her eyes are too far apart?
Chris: No.
Julius: Like she's knock-kneed and pigeon-toed, and when she walks she makes a clicking sound?
Chris: No.

Quote from Rochelle

Adult Chris: [v.o.] While I was running for my life, Vanessa was running her game down.
Vanessa: Listen up now, everybody. Now, we all in this together. So if we gonna win this thing, then we got to get our mojo working.
Rochelle: Mojo? Is that what we're depending on, mojo? Well, what about the stats, the line, the over, the under? What about the odds? The spread, the angle, the handicap? What about the hook, the hot game? You know, the rundown, the system? What about a tout, the trends? What about a wiseguy? Everybody needs a wiseguy.

Quote from Greg

Greg: Dude, did I see you talking to Big Bird yesterday?
Chris: Shh! Yeah, she asked me out.
Greg: She's, like, the goofiest girl this side of Roseanne Roseannadanna.

 Vanessa Quotes

Quote from Everybody Hates Minimum Wage

Vanessa: Now, remember, don't move it.
Pam: Don't touch it.
Vanessa: Don't stick anything in it.
Pam: Don't scratch your head.
Vanessa: Don't move your eyebrows.
Pam: Don't shower.
Vanessa: Don't bathe.
Pam: Wash up.
Vanessa: And, most important of all, don't lie down.
Rochelle: Well, how am I supposed to sleep?
Vanessa: You're not supposed to sleep. You're a hair model.
Rochelle: Well, models sleep. They don't eat.
Vanessa: Not hair models. They eat, not sleep.

Quote from Everybody Hates Earth Day

Vanessa: I help the environment by wearing wigs. People put a whole lot of chemicals in their hair. Then they wash it out. It goes right into the river. People got to drink that water. When you done with a wig, just flush it down the toilet. If it ends up in your glass, well, at least you can see it.

Quote from Everybody Hates Baseball

Adult Chris: [v.o.] After giving it some thought, Vanessa decided to give my mom a piece of her mind.
Vanessa: Rochelle.
Rochelle: Ah, hey, Vanessa, what's up?
Vanessa: Well, you tell me. Why don't you think I'm good enough to go out with your brother?
Rochelle: I never said that.
Vanessa: I tell you what, Miss High and Mighty, when you figure out what you are trying to say, you call me at home and then say it. Until then, find somebody else to wax your mustache.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] What about the soul patch?