Axl: It's- It's stuck in the mud. We're gonna have to get out and push.
Sean: I'm sure that guy who killed those teens Is probably gone by now.
Axl: All right. Ready? [something hits Axl in the face] Oh! Kill it! It's a bird, and it's trying to fly in my hair! [Sean and Darrin jump around in fear] Aah! Get it off of me! Get it off me! It's trying to fly in my hair! Aah! Aah! Oh, my god! Aah! Aah! Get it off me! No, no, get it off me! [realizes it's a paper bag] Oh. My bad. We're good!
Darrin: We got this.
Sean: Totally under control.

Frankie: [v.o.] Safe to say Axl was feeling pretty good about his competition, until...
Sean: Oh, hey. Check out the Ax-man, wantin' to guard the lifes.
Axl: Sean. What are you doing here?
Sean: Same as you, bro.
Frankie: [v.o.] And then Axl heard the worst thing a Donahue could say to a Heck.
Sean: May the best man win.

Axl: Now I just gotta find Emily, tell her she's getting an upgrade. Sean? You're the man. I totally appreciate you keeping her on ice for me, dude.
Sean: Uh, yeah. That ice melted a bit. My mom already called her mom, they scheduled photos... Plus we already rounded a couple bases.
Axl: What? No! That is so not cool. I've been working on her for a long time.
Sean: Oh, you mean when you were asking Weird Ashley to prom?
Axl: I did not ask her. I was tricked. I can't believe you would do this to me. I thought we were bros.

Evan: I heard about your guys' service, and I wanna dump my girlfriend, but I don't wanna hurt her feelings.
Sean: You've come to the right place, Evan.

Josh: What am I signing?
Axl: Ah, it's a standard release form saying we're not liable if anything goes wrong.
Sean: And that if your ex is hot, we, the members of Boss Co., reserve the right to ask her out after the appropriate 7-day waiting period. [Darrin whispers in Sean's ear] Correction... 3-day waiting period.

Axl: Hey. What's wrong with you, dude?
Sean: That breakup with Kelly McCarthy was awful. Totally blindsided her. She cried her contacts out, and then I heard she failed a calculus test 'cause she couldn't see. She might not get into college.

Sean: I'm gonna go get Courtney a water.
Darrin: Why are you getting Courtney a water?
Sean: Because she's my date.
Darrin: No. She's my date.
Sean: No, you brought Debbie.
Darrin: Nuh-unh. I brought Courtney. You brought Debbie.
Axl: Not so easy, is it?

Sean: Have you talked to her?
Axl: No. I haven't seen her since graduation.
Sean: Well, maybe you need to see her again, face-to-face, see how you feel.
Axl: Yeah, I'll just drive 10 hours to Vassar, sure.
Darrin: Yes! Road trip!
Axl: No. We're not going on a-
Sean: Road trip!
Axl: Seriously. Dudes. Get real.
Darrin: We already called "Road trip." We have to do it!
Sean: That-- that is the rule of "Road trip."
All: Road trip!

Axl: I could go ballistic on those onion rings those people left behind.
Sean: Nobody leave a full plate of onion rings. They probably just went to the bathroom.
Axl: Who goes to the bathroom together? And look at the table... empty cups and plates. Hmm? They obviously over-ordered.
Sean: Or they're rich. I've got an uncle who's an airplane pilot. Those onion rings would be nothing to him.

Darrin: Hey, I didn't know you were in town.
Sean: Yeah, I was doing a favor for my mom taking Sue to prom. I was happy to do it, but it turns out she's got like four other dates.
Darrin: Wait. Are you sure? 'Cause...
Sean: Yeah, that's what she said, four guys. But I'm fine. It's it's fine. I'm fine. I'll just smile through it just just like I smile through everything.