Axl: Mom, check out this awesome watch Dad gave me.
Frankie: Oh, awesome. Everybody has the time on their phones now, but that's great. [Axl walks off] Are you kidding me?!
Mike: What?
Frankie: I'm trying to be cool, so I don't make my son breakfast or hug him or anything and then you waltz in here with the most heartfelt gift of all time. Where was that gift-giving skill during inflatable footbath season?
Mike: You use it.
Frankie: Yeah, I have a fungus!

Frankie: Look, it was just the gift to end all gifts, and it would've been nice if you had included me. That's all.
Mike: So, tell him it's from both of us. I don't care.
Frankie: [sighs] I'm not gonna do that. Hey, Axl! Axl! I'm so happy you love the watch that your dad and I both gave you. He thought of the latitude, but I thought of the longitude.
Brick: Anyone in the car believe that?
Axl & Sue: No.
Frankie: Hey. Hey, look over there. "Emery's Fresh Peaches"! Mike, pull over. Axl loves peaches. I'm gonna get him some... from me. Hey, Axl! We're stoppin' for peaches! Car peaches from Mom!
Brick: We don't wanna stop.
Sue: Now? Why?
Axl: I don't want any peaches.

Axl: Mmm. Actually, these aren't bad.
Frankie: Yeah. They're not bad. I'm glad you like my gift. Happy moving day, love Mom.
Sue: Oh. Oh, bee. Bee! Bee in the car!
Mike: It won't sting you if you're not afraid of them.
Sue: Yeah, but I am afraid of them! Ah! Oh! There's another one.
Brick: The peaches are attracting them.
Axl: Oh, I didn't even want the peaches! Why did Mom get me stupid peaches?!
Frankie: They were from both of us!
Axl: Quick, just throw 'em out the window!
Sue: No, we can't do that! That's littering and wasting food! It's a double sin!
Brick: It's compost! It's fine!
Sue: Sorry, America!

Brick: Well, I did not see that coming at all.
Frankie: I knew. I've known for a long time. I was the first, but I was sworn to secrecy. That's why I knew and the rest of you didn't.
Mike: I knew.
Axl: I knew.
Frankie: Not till after I knew.

Frankie: [phone chimes] There's another alert. Okay, who's using data? Now it says we're up to 99%.
Sue: Well, I had to tell Brad, tell Brad, and then he put me on a group text with no-cut a capalla and now my phone is blowing up.
Mike: Data costs money. We can't keep doing this.
Axl: Look, just take me off the family plan. My new job gives me a company phone anyway.
Frankie: Axl, don't be ridiculous. We're not taking you off the family plan.
Axl: Why not? That makes no sense.
Frankie: Um, because you're part of the family.
Axl: Not really. Not anymore. [chuckles]
Frankie: Stop the car. Stop the car! [gets out]
Sue: I'm gonna take the blue bag. She may need cookies.

Frankie: [v.o.] You know how you have one of those weeks, then something just tips you over the edge and you know there's only one thing that'll make you feel better? But then you realize you ate your last can of frosting and luckily there's an even better thing... a really good cry.
Frankie: [sighs] [sobs]
Brick: [o.s.] Mom?
Frankie: What?

Frankie: [to Pat] I don't understand? You think I wouldn't wanna have a house all to myself? You think I wouldn't love to be alone on Mother's Day sucking down a glass of white zinfandel?
Sue: You don't wanna be with your daughter on Mother's Day?
Frankie: Sue, I didn't say that.
Sue: Yes, you did. You said exactly that.
Frankie: Sue, come on.

Frankie: [sighs] I just want you to take care of yourself, all right, and now is the time to do it when I have free dental care. Please? I need you. I can't get Axl to do anything.
Mike: Right. All right. Enough. Enough talking about it. I'll do it, okay? You happy?
Frankie: Oh. [scoffs] There's a lot of road to travel between me and that destination, but I am relieved. Thank you.

Frankie: Wait, what? Are you kidding me? This isn't Toffee?
Dr. Goodwin: Oh, no, ma'am. But I can already tell this little guy's gonna fill the giant gaping hole in my heart.
Frankie: [chuckles] Well, you know, having a dog with four legs could be quite an adjustment. I'd certainly be willing to help out. Hey, you know, there's a great dog park nearby. We could all go after work. It could be fun.
Dr. Goodwin: [chuckling] No, thanks.

Frankie: Ugh. Yesterday's Don's Oriental Food is still not sitting so well.
Brick: Don's? I wanted to go there today.
Mike: Yeah, there's no way we're going there today.
Brick: Oh. Well, then, I want to go to... Juanita's Cocina.
Frankie: Oh, no. We gotta give the Chinese a chance to clear out before we let any other countries in. [burps] Sorry.