Adam: And what's this bottle of giant horse pills?
Barry: That's the number-one weight-training supplement. Guaranteed to explode your abs, traps, delts, and orbs.
Adam: Orbs?
Andy: The muscle that closes the eye. Look how fast I can blink. [blinks] Agh!
Adam: You're really doing it.

Adult Adam: [v.o.] As Geoff's wedding plans were falling apart, Barry and I got the JTP together to film a heartfelt testimonial for our favorite water park.
Adam: What's your favorite moment at Riptide Waters?
[montage:]
Naked Rob: I guess when I lost my trunks on the water slide.
Matt: When I was made a junior lifeguard at Full Moon Lagoon.
Andy: For me, it's the wave pool.
Naked Rob: So, I'm just flying down this slide a-and whoop! There goes my shorts.
Matt: The girls gave me a lot of attention when I had that whistle. Especially Stacy Leiberman.
Andy: One time, I was under the water for eight whole minutes. [chuckles] At least... At least I think it was eight. I-I've forgotten a lot about that day.

[montage:]
Naked Rob: The trunks are the only thing really slowing you down when you're on the slide, so I just kept going faster and faster.
Matt: You remember when Stacy "went missing" in the Lagoon and people were going crazy and the park manager was like, "You can swim, right? Get in there."
Andy: I do remember sinking to the bottom and feeling really at peace.
Naked Rob: And I just came shooting out of that slide, uh, skipped across the pool like a stone across a lake.
Matt: I dove into that lagoon again and again looking for Stacy, but I couldn't... I-I-I couldn't find her.
Andy: And then I saw my grandma, a-and she had this bright, warm light coming from behind her, but also from within.
Naked Rob: I looked around for my suit, but it was gone. It doesn't make any sense, but deep down, I know the park took it.
Matt: At the end of the day, the manager said it was all a joke. That Stacy was never even there, and... and I believed him. I was just a boy.
Andy: I could smell my grandma's perfume. Although, it might have been the aftershave of the lifeguard that was resuscitating me.
Naked Rob: Then I noticed everyone looking at me. So many judging eyes. I-I lied to myself and embraced it. I didn't want to, but I had to. I had to be Naked Rob.
Matt: I never saw Stacy again.
Andy: Did I die?

Andy: Dammit, I'll eat the dumb grape. [eats] Huh? Mmm-mmm. It's pretty good, actually.
Barry: I know.
Andy: It's juicy. Oh. [chuckles][coughs] Holy crap, it's happening.
Geoff: Bar, he just coughed.
Barry: Your savior is here, little friend. [performs the heimlich]
Andy: Oh! My ribs!
Matt: Barry, he can talk. That means he's fine.
Barry: His breathing is labored.
Andy: Oh, please let me go!
Barry: And life! [Andy gasps] You are forever in my debt.
Andy: Your hands went way too low, bro. Way too low!
Erica: Wow, I thought doctors are supposed to make people feel better. Face it, you're not the healer I am.
Barry: I'm more concerned that my patient is alive.
Andy: Alive? Barely!

Virginia Kremp: Hi, Barry.
Barry: I'm not Barry, I'm Bronco.
Matt: Colt.
Naked Rob: Tex.
Andy: Andy's fine.

Barry: Are you ready to learn more? Or will you eternally embarrass yourself in front of your girlfriend's dad?
Adam: Teach me your mannish ways.
Naked Rob: Always bring up local sports teams.
Barry: But always mention that they suck.
Andy: And all of your emotions that you keep bottled up in your day-to-day life, sports lets 'em come roaring out.
Adam: None of this seems healthy.
Naked Rob: It's not. My chest always hurts.
Andy: I cry in the shower and let the salty tears disappear down the drain.

Matt: Last week, during our poker game, Andy was at the movies with his fencing pals.
Barry: Fencing pals?
Andy: Damn it! [sighs] Yes, Barry, okay? I fence.
Barry: Like stolen goods?
Andy: Like the elegant sport with swords.
Barry: Well, well. Look at my little Musketeer.

Geoff: The dance is back on? That means I can still Swayze you.
Erica: Let it go, Geoff. I'm not gonna sensually gyrate with you.
Beverly: I'm sorry, "gyrate"?
Erica: If I'm gonna get dirty with anyone, it's gonna be Marc McGonagle.
Beverly: Marc McGonagle?
Geoff: Erica, I'm begging you. Give me a chance to groove all up on you.
Beverly: No. Do not do that.
Geoff: Let our bodies speak without words.
Beverly: Stop! Nobody's body is speaking to any other bodies. This is just a school dance.
Erica: Dirty dance.
Barry: Ugh, again with that awful movie.
Naked Rob: Think about it, dude. The school is letting us dirty-dance. They want us to get freaky.
Andy: Unh! Ladies' man Cogan bringing it dirty, y'all!
Beverly: That was not in the movie.
Andy: Yeah, we never saw the movie, but the title says it all.

Barry: Cogan, talk some sense into this lunatic.
Andy: Actually, I'm the one that gave him the idea. I'm thinking about doing premed.
Barry: That's not the dream. You're gonna be a female body inspector.
Andy: Turns out, that's not a real job, just a hilarious t-shirt.

Adam: They were all over at the house on the day in question. That means all of you had opportunity.
Andy: That's insane.
Adam: Insane like the jealousy you felt every time Barry wore Big Orange? You loved that shirt but knew you could never pull it off, 'cause you were too tiny.
Andy: I prefer small-boned.