J.D.: [v.o.] As I scanned across their faces, it felt amazing to see how everyone truly felt about me. [Dr. Cox is smiling]
Elliot: Why are you stretching?
Dr. Cox: Because, Barbie, I'm just so very happy, that I'm gonna try something I haven't done since high school. Backflip! [crashes onto the floor] Did I stick it, you guys?
J.D.: No, you did not.
Dr. Cox: It was worth it.

J.D.: How could Dan not want to know if he has Huntington's disease? Maybe he's in denial. I mean, if it were me, I'd be going crazy. I'm going to go talk to him.
Dr. Cox: I implore you, please do the one thing that I am beyond confident that you know how to do. Nothing. Do nothing. It is the patient's decision.
Carla: Has Perry told you how he feels about you yet?
J.D.: No, and he says he's not going to.
Carla: Well, just wait him out. You'll beat him in the end.
Dr. Cox: Un... let it arrive... acceptable. Unacceptable.

J.D.: Mmm. Great job, Sunny. You said your line perfectly.
Sunny: Ah, thanks. I worked on it.
J.D.: I knew it would set you off. Good night, best friend. He thinks I'm an- Ow! Exceptional person! [exits]
Dr. Cox: You realize that even though he gets to leave, you have to stay?
Sunny: I didn't think that out.
Dr. Cox: No. You didn't.

Dr. Cox: You should all follow 19's lead, and I call her "19," because instead of using your names, I'm going to go by where you currently rank in my head. Now, who can tell me what artery goes above the optic chiasm to the cerebral hemispheres? Supermodel in the back.
Maya: [Australian accent] I'm fairly certain it's the anterior cerebral artery.
Dr. Cox: What?
Maya: The anterior cerebral artery.
Dr. Cox: I'm not understanding a word that she's saying. And, people, I can teach anyone. You just gotta speak English.
Maya: I'm Australian.
Dr. Cox: Still not getting it. Everyone, leave. [whistles]

Dr. Cox: Has anyone seen the crash cart?
Maya: Ah, it's, uh, over by bed four.
Dr. Cox: [to J.D.] Now can you make that out?
J.D.: I think I heard the words "bear fight," but that makes no sense. [Maya walks away] You're right. That's super fun. I love doing things with you. Thanks, Perry. I needed that.

J.D.: I can't believe it's been 12 years since we started medical school.
Turk: We're getting old, Kemo Sabe.
Dr. Cox: Well, thank you, Lord. Now you do realize You could've saved yourself a lot of embarrassment and a lot of time and about seven stitches if you'd just admitted to that a little earlier. Of course, it wouldn't have been as much fun for me, and I damn sure wouldn't have gotten this terrific screensaver.
Turk: He's gonna want a copy of that.
J.D.: No, I won't.
J.D.: [v.o.] Hello, Christmas cards!
Dr. Cox: There's nothing wrong with getting older. So do yourself a favor: get a prostate exam, stop wearing ironic t-shirts and just let it happen.

J.D.: [v.o.] But while I went out of my way to connect with these kids, Dr. Cox had a different approach.
Dr. Cox: All right then, you gaggle of mini murderers, I am going to make these evaluations very easy for you. Here are some adjectives that describe my teaching style. "Abusive," "humiliating," "tyrannical" and "buttery." Why "buttery"? Because I don't care what you write. Moving on. It is time for your final practical exam of the quarter. Learning how to draw blood from an actual human being. Sadly, most of you will pass, but there are one or two of you out there who will botch this miserably, proving once and for all that you don't belong here. And oh, my God. It's like it's Christmas eve, and one of you is just a big box of failure waiting to be unwrapped. I want to open you. I want to open you so bad, but no, I'm gonna wait, because the waiting makes it so much sweeter. I'll see you tomorrow.

Dr. Cox: You know, he's right about the whole running out of time thing.
Elliot: I guess, but having a baby's not like dying.
Dr. Cox: [chuckles] It's- It's exactly like dying.
Elliot: We have Sam on the weekends. We know how to handle it.
Dr. Cox: Yeah, but stepkids aren't the same. They're a rental. You gotta take mildly good care of 'em, return 'em with a full tank of gas and not too many dents. I'll tell you what there, Barbie. I'm gonna go ahead and give you my own version of something your husband told you but you couldn't hear because you're married to him. After that baby comes, nothing goes back to normal. Time doesn't slow down. It only gets faster. And then 20 years later you find yourself signing a will and realizing that you didn't spend nearly enough time with the one person you care most about.
Elliot: God, I wish J.D. had said that.
Dr. Cox: Ah, don't blame yourself. I can't understand him either. Sounds like a bag of cats.

Dr. Cox: Hi, boys and girls. Anybody admit to anything yet? [Cole stops Lucy from raising her hand] Here's what I'm gonna do. If someone doesn't tell me who did it, I'm gonna make you all retake the test. It's gonna be a new test. It's gonna be ten times as hard. It's not just gonna be on medicine. It's going to be on everything. Baseball statistics, North Dakota high schools, the geography of a made-up fantasy world I like to call Coxatopia. That's a magic land where the rivers run of scotch and hordes of pigs feed on the bones of cheating med students.

Denise: That little stunt you pulled with Trang? Not cool. I needed him for real hospital work.
Dr. Cox: Having him move my car, I'll have you know, was hospital work of the highest order.
Denise: That's exactly what Trang needed. Driving back and forth in the parking lot, reinforcing every stereotype of Asian drivers. Look, you're the one who put me with the med students, so don't undermine me.
Who's in charge of 'em, you or me?
Dr. Cox: I am in charge of you, and by the transitive property, anybody you're in charge of I'm also in charge of. You see, I'm the boss around here. I pretty much do whatever I want. For instance, I can use the intercom to whistle. Any loose change, automatically mine. And I never have to buy chocolate bars from any of my colleagues' awful children to support their horrible school band. I can do whatever I want, and you just have to stand and nod, like the sweet-mouthed little man-boy monkey toy that you truly are. [coin drops] Mine.