Joey: Everything's different here. I want to go home. I miss my family. I miss the coffeehouse.
I can't even remember what Phoebe looks like.
Chandler: Joey, it's been three days. Okay, you're just a little homesick. Would you just try to relax and just enjoy yourself?
Joey: You're different here too. You're mean in England.

Joey: Having some trouble?
Monica: Rachel locked the door.
Joey: I'll kick that door in if you give me some sugar.

Rachel: Okay, you're coming with me. And I also told them if we're still here when they get off, we'll go down to the cafeteria and get some Jello with them.
Joey: Yep. There's always room for Jello.
Rachel: Joey, how do you make that dirty?
Joey: It's easy. I can do it with anything. Watch. Grandma's chicken salad.

Chandler: I'm very glad you saved Ross when the car backfired, but it could've been a bullet.
And, you know, you didn't try to save me.
Joey: Oh. You're upset because you think I chose Ross over you. No, I knew you could take care of yourself. You know? I mean, Ross needs help. He's not "street" like us.

Joey: Everything on your application looks really good. Oh, just one last question. Are you and your friends be over here all the time, like, partying and hanging out?
Woman: Oh, don't worry. I'm not really a party girl.
Joey: Whoa. Now, don't just be blurting stuff out. I want you to really think about your answers.

Joey: Gunther? I can't pay now, because I'm not working. I've had to cut down on some luxuries like ... paying for stuff, so...

Monica: I've got it. I have got it. Pictures from your childhood. This'll get you going good.
Phoebe: All right, what's going on there?
Chandler: That's parents' Day. First grade. That's me with the janitor, Martin.
Monica: Where are your parents?
Chandler: Oh, they didn't want to come.
Phoebe: Oh, Chandler!
Monica: Poor thing.
Phoebe: That story doesn't make you cry?
Chandler: No. Look, I don't cry. It's not a big deal, okay?
Joey: No. It's not okay. It's not okay at all. You're dead inside.

Phoebe: Joey, listen. Take good care of that guy. He's a fan. Bye.
Joey: So you saw me on Days of Our Lives, huh? You want me to do a little Doctor Drake Ramoray for you?
Guy: I have no idea what you're talking about. But I just got Phoebe Buffay's autograph.
Joey: Oh. You're Phoebe's fan.
Guy: Oh, yeah. I've seen all her movies.
Joey: Movies?
Guy: That was Phoebe Buffay, the porn star.
Joey: I don't think so.
Guy: No, no. It was. She was in Sex Toy Story Two, Lawrence of a Labia. And I got her autograph. The guys at the comic book store aren't going to believe this.

Phoebe: And, you know, Jake says that women's underwear is actually more comfortable. And he loves the way the silk feels against his skin.
Joey: Yeah, well, next thing you know he'll be telling your high heels are good for his posture.
Phoebe: There is nothing wrong with Jake, okay. He is all man. I think even more than you.
Joey: Oh, yeah. He looked like a real lumberjack in those pink lacies.
Phoebe: I'm just saying that only a man completely secure in his masculinity could walk around in women's underwear. I don't think you could ever do that.
Joey: Hey, I am secure with my masculinity.
Phoebe: Okay, whatever.
Joey: You've seen my huge stack of porn, right?

Joey: Oh, you know, Kash really liked you the other day. He thought you were charming.
Rachel: Oh. I thought I was a complete idiot.
Joey: Hey, I'm with you.