Adult Chris: [v.o.] Being stood up was bad enough, so I didn't want to tell anybody.
Doc: Hey. Listen, you ever hear of Whodini?
Chris: Ecstasy and Jalil? Yeah.
Doc: Yeah, I got a couple of tickets. I thought the show was about the magician. You want 'em?
Chris: Yeah.
Doc: Maybe you can take your girl.
Chris: I don't think so.
Doc: Why not?
Chris: She stood me up. I was standing outside the theater for two hours and she never shed up.
Doc: What? You gonna let her treat you that way and get away with it? Listen, if I was you, I'd go find that girl, take her by the hair and shake her like an Etch-A-Sketch.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] Doc lives alone.

Chris: What?
Doc: That girl is not interested in you. She's interested in your tickets.
Chris: Think so?
Doc: She's an opportunist. She goes with whoever has the best deal. She only agreed to go out with you because she didn't have anything better to do. That's how I ended up married for three years.
Chris: I don't think Yvette's like that.
Doc: Want to make a bet?

Adult Chris: [v.o.] Working at Doc's corner store was pretty easy. I stocked shelves, I delivered groceries.
Doc: Hurry up, Chris, and don't let her ice-cream melt.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] I even made pickled eggs. About the only work Doc never let me do was work the register.
Doc: Chris? Listen here. I have to go and do something, I have to leave for about an half an hour.
Chris: Ok, I'll help you lock-up.
Doc: Oh, we're not locking-up. I want you to stay here. You think you can handle the register while I'm gone?
Chris: For real? Where are you going?
Doc: I got to go to the bank.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] Since Doc didn't leave the store during business hours, he never got to go the bank. I never knew where he kept his money.
[fantasy: Doc at the bank with his mattress:]
Doc: That will be a deposit.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] That mattress was his wallet.

Malvo: So, who's this?
Doc: That's my helper, Chris. Chris, say hi to Malvo.
Chris: Hi.
Malvo: Hi.
Doc: Yeah, he was here when it happened. He's helping me out with the sketch of the guy who did it.
Malvo: Oh, yeah? Chris saw who did it, huh? Let me see that.
Doc: Yeah, this is the latest.
Malvo: Man, that's Al Jarreau. I know his record sales are down, but I don't think he'd be robbing no store.

Chris: Doc? Can I talk to you for a minute?
Doc: I don't know if you can. But you may.

Adult Chris: [v.o.] It's amazing how fast bad news travels.
Chris: [on the phone] Hey, Doc, it's Chris.
Doc: What?!
[montage of Doc making phone calls:]
Doc: Danny, Lakers over Phoenix. Pull your bet.
Doc: Julio, Lakers over Phoenix-- pull your bet.
Doc: Harry, no bet. Don't bet the Lakers.
Doc: Perez, pull your bet.
Doc: Bobby...
Doc: Hey, man, pull your bet.
Doc: Did you do it?
Doc: Tell him to pull his bet.
Doc: Pull your bet, man.
Doc: Reverend, yes. Pull your bet. Yeah. God bless you, too.

Doc: You know, I used to write jokes for some comedians back when.
Chris: You did?
Doc: Mm-hmm. I got a joke or two on most of these albums here.
Chris: Really? Well, can I listen to them?
Doc: Sure. But some of this material is a little blue.
Chris: Blue?
Doc: Yeah, filthy. So if you hear something you ain't supposed to hear, turn it off.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] Don't be so strict, old man.

Adult Chris: [v.o.] My story had pulled the wool over the community's eyes, but Doc's eyes weren't woolly at all.
Doc: Who keeps taking these posters down? Now, Chris, let me see if I understand this correctly. The killer came over here and spontaneously confessed to you about his murderous past in Syracuse, Albany and Pittsburgh. Is that about right?
Adult Chris: [v.o.] Yeah, if by right, you mean wrong.
Chris: Yeah, kind of.
Doc: Oh, what part of that did I get wrong?
Chris: The part about the killer coming out here.
Doc: Chris, you've got this whole neighborhood terrified. Ain't nobody on the streets. Ain't nobody out here, ain't nobody coming in the store.
Chris: I'm sorry; it's just that I want to be remembered.
Doc: Chris, you can't base your legacy on lies. Now, you got to go and tell somebody what you did.

Chris: Hey, Doc.
Doc: Hey. Good to see you, Chris.
Chris: Just coming by to say I'm sorry.
Doc: Sorry for what?
Chris: Quitting my job. I mean, I didn't know how good I had it.
Doc: Chris, if I paid you minimum wage, you'd get taxed, and I'd get taxed. I'd have to get unemployment insurance, workmen's compensation. And there are child labor laws. Look, the bottom line is, if I paid you minimum wage, I'd have to close up the store.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] Years later, Doc closed the store and opened a Wal-Mart.

Doc: I love Kwanzaa. Doesn't Interfere with Christmas and it's a good way to bring the family together. You know, Christmas is too materialistic.
Tonya: Yeah, well, my mom made this for you.
Doc: Ooh. Well, tell your mama I said thank you. You know, I did a little jail time with the guy who invented Kwanzaa.
Tonya: Really?
Doc: Yeah! I won a hat just like this from him in a card game. He was a good guy. If he hadn't committed that felonious assault, Kwanzaa would have caught on, been big.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] No, it wouldn't.