Barry: Lainey. I didn't think you'd ever talk to me again, you know, after ruining your graduation and embarrassing you in front of everyone you've ever known.
Lainey: Yeah, that was bad.
Barry: It wasn't great.
Lainey: It was basically the worst.
Barry: Well I don't blame you if you hate me forever.
Lainey: Hate you? After everything we've been through, all those memories, the best moments of my life? I could never hate you.
Barry: We really had some good times, huh?
Lainey: We had some great times. And you know what? This is the spot where we had our first real conversation.
Barry: Yep. I threw that party, made an ass of myself and you were the only one who was there for me.
Lainey: God, so much has changed since then. I mean, not everything. Even back then, I knew I loved you. And no matter where we go, we'll always have that.

Lainey: I'm sorry I ditched you, but I did leave a note on the punch bowl.
Erica: Oh, you mean this sticky red napkin that says "Bye"?

Lainey: I was really hoping it would work.
Barry: Us, or the Ouija?
Lainey: Both. I'll always love you, Barry Goldberg. You know that, right?

Erica: Lainey's my new out-of-town guest, which means both of you, beat it.
Lainey: So, I just sat on a stinky bus for six hours to be used like some pawn in your battle with your roommate, who's now apparently your brother's new girlfriend?
Erica: And it's fun to get together.

Erica: Seriously, college is the best. My classes are, like, so interesting.
Lainey: Mine, too. I'm always like, "I did not know that."
Erica: I love the parties and meeting smart people and living with my roommate, who is awesome.
Lainey: [scoffs] Tell me about it. I love my roommate, The Raven.
Erica: The what?
Lainey: It's her Wiccan name. She's so cool and artsy and chain smokes and flicks the ashes at me while I sleep.
Erica: Yeah, she doesn't sound great.
Lainey: That's 'cause she's not! She's horrible and scary! And I hate her and everything else at college.

Erica: I have chills!
Other Erica: Oh, my God.
Erica: Am I crazy, or is this a hit song?
Other Erica: Oh, my God.
Lainey: You are not crazy. It's bad-ass-
Other Erica: Like, oh, my God!
Lainey: and totally defines The Tangles.

Lainey: Honestly, it was like a weight was lifted after I told my dad I left fashion school.
Erica: So it went well?
Lainey: No, he cried. Like an ugly cry, where you gulp for air.

Bill Lewis: Is all of this just to hurt me? Is that what this is?
Lainey: Dad, go feed the fish.

Lainey: Okay, your mom is really freaking me out with her cute onesies and "Baby On Board" signs and celebratory casino buffets. I'm sorry, but this can't be my life!
Barry: What are you saying?
Lainey: I'm saying I love you, but having Beverly Goldberg as a smother-in-law will be an utter nightmare.
Barry: No! Don't trust your instincts!

Lainey: Oh, my God. How can you be so selfish? [notes play as Lainey sits down]
Barry: What was that?
Lainey: I farted into the couch.
Barry: Dude, you got a keytar?
Lainey: Everyone's right. We really are just impulsive, immature idiots.
Barry: Don't say that. We can fix this.
Lainey: I guess we could return our stuff and get our nest egg back.
Barry: Unless...
Lainey: Unless what? Let's do that.
Barry: Agreed.