Beverly: Okay, hands on buzzers. Name something you put on your pizza. [bell dings]
Geoff: We're living together. I mean, pepperoni!
Linda: What was that?
Erica: He said pepperoni! Show me pepperoni!
Beverly: Ding, ding, ding! Geoff, you have control.
Geoff: Doesn't feel like I do! And bathroom?

Geoff: Guess who's auditing Art History. It's me.
Erica: Good for you, babe. I didn't know you liked art history.
Geoff: Me neither, but I was aimlessly wandering the campus, as I like to do on Mondays and Fridays and the other three weekdays, and I passed this lecture hall...
Erica: And you got drawn in?
Geoff: You're ahead of the story, but yes. Now the story's caught up to you.
Erica: Well, I'm very happy for you.

Geoff: Whatever it is, it's awesome. Dude, you're hot for teacher!
Barry: Thanks, buddy. You're a good friend.
Erica: Stay out of this, Geoff.
Geoff: On it, yeah. I just got to ask... Has she ever given you, like, a pop quiz but then the quiz is just kissing?
Erica: Geoff!
Geoff: Sorry, babe. Follow-up question... Has she ever started class by emerging from behind a curtain, wearing nothing but a bikini and a sash?
Erica: Dude! I didn't know this side of you.
Geoff: It's always been in there!

Barry: Do I smell Mom's homemade chili cheese lasagna?
Geoff: Yes, you do, Schmoo.
Erica: My biggest fear used to be that I'd turn into my mom.
Geoff: Well, I've been using your mom's recipes and having the time of my life.
Murray: We are two very different men.

Barry: This intervention is for you.
Beverly: Me? What's my problem?
Erica: You've become an embarrassing psycho.
Geoff: Cookie break!
Beverly: I'm a psycho? Your boyfriend is dressed as me.
Geoff: And I'm pulling it off. And I'm... pulling it off.

Erica: What the hell is that?
Barry: The sound of angels or possibly human ladies? They're making instrument noises with their beautiful mouths.
Geoff: Oh, no, Erica. It's a cappella music. Should I spray them with a garden hose or wing a trash can lid at them?

Geoff: Oh, no! Your car has a boot on it!
Erica: I can see that, Geoff! $300 to get a boot off? That can't be right.
Geoff: It is. Your flagrant disregard for vehicular statutes has rightly caught up to you.
Erica: Whose side are you on?
Geoff: Is it wrong to say justice?

Barry: What the hell am I looking at? Why is there a metal thingy on our car?
Erica: It's a bummer for you, dude. You got a bunch of parking tickets and have to pay a steep fine to get the boot off. It's quite a lesson. But keep me posted.
Barry: Damn it! The details are foggy, but it tracks with my careless nature.
Geoff: Do not pawn this off on Barry. Erica fought the campus law, and the campus law won.
Barry: Almost like the song! [rattling] Ugh! The boot people know what they're doing.

Barry: Hey! Ready to hit the club? Drinking age is 10, but they don't card.
Geoff: Yeah, as fun and alarming as that sounds, I‐I gotta stay with Erica.
Barry: Damn it, Schwartz! I knew you'd bail on our boys' trip. All you wanna do is party with my sister.
Geoff: Yeah, I wouldn't exactly call it a party.
Erica: Oh, everything inside me's coming out of my face!
Geoff: Okay, just try to make it to the bathroom, sweetie!
Barry: Oh, my God. What am I looking at?
Geoff: Yeah, it's not great.
Erica: I need towels, I need Gatorade, and I need a doctor who doesn't also work the omelet station!
Geoff: On it, my dove!
Erica: [vomits]
Geoff: I'm sorry, Bar. When she's at her weakest, I have to be my strongest.
Erica: Shut the door!

Geoff: Yoo-hoo. Geoffy's home. Oh, my, a guest? Erica, you didn't say anything about company. I'm so sorry. This is not how it normally looks.
Erica: Geoff, stop. You do not have to clean up for him. He was just leaving.
Geoff: So soon? A-At least stay for a beverage. We have Tab and sink water.
Adam: You've tempted me. I'm gonna park myself right here and make a night of it.
Erica: No! I have things to do.
Adam: Like finish a musical with your baby brother?
Geoff: Wow. You guys are a regular Rodgers and Hammerstein, except you're siblings and children and... Hey, look, a whole song about slides!
Adam: It's called "The Play Ground," and it's set in a playground. It makes you think.
Geoff: It almost does. A duet about monkey bars? I can't wait.
Erica: Well, you're gonna have to, because it's not happening.
Adam: Unless you take my hand and come with me to complete our theatrical destiny. Ohh! Ow! Ow! Ow! Ow!
Geoff: Stop by anytime. You're always welcome in our home.
Erica: No, he's not. And stop offering my Tabs to people.