Geoff: Yo, Dando.
Evan: Oh, what's up, Geoff?
Geoff: Oh, I'll tell you what's up. It just so happens that I don't like your stupid, handsome face or your super-talented guitar playing or your amazingly luscious hair!
Erica: What the hell is happening right now?
Barry: Geoff, a word. Love the energy, but your insults are coming off as compliments.
Geoff: Good note. Here I go again.

Adult Adam: As the JTP wished Barry would chill out, my mom was firing up the Festival of Lights.
Beverly: And amen. [blows]
Adam: We just had to sit through all that Hebrew jibber-jabber. Now where's our presents?
Beverly: Gotta start off Hanukkah with a bang. Tube socks! Tube socks! Tube socks!
Geoff: Hoo! These stripey bad boys will fit in all my shoes.
Erica: As your romantic partner, the sock excitement isn't working for me.
Geoff: I'm gonna do better.

Erica: Check it! I got another "A" on my sociology midterm.
Geoff: Another perfect grade? Your GPA is gonna look like Fonzie on a Friday... All "Aaays."
Erica: Yeah, I don't have time to acknowledge how lame that was.
Geoff: Come on, let's celebrate by going to one of the many fun hangs on this corkboard. Oh, no! A lost dog?
Erica: Snowball is fine, and so am I. No parties.
Geoff: But all you do is go from your dorm to the classroom and back to your dorm. I mean, get out there. Meet some people. And if you do, ask them if they've seen a bichon/pug mix who loves carrots.

Geoff: Good morning, clumsy pants!
Erica: What?! The hell?!
Geoff: It's day 27 of our winter break. I wanted to surprise you with something special.
Erica: How did you even get in here?!
Geoff: Love finds a way. Also there's a basement window that doesn't lock.

Erica: Look, you know that I love you and stuff, so what more do you need?
Geoff: [whispering] White horses.
Erica: What?
Geoff: White horses.
Erica: What?
Geoff: [normal voice] White horses? Get them, try it.
Erica: Okay, I don't know what you're saying, but don't count on it.

Coach Mellor: Schwartz, got a bunch of scoop balls that need scooping, so have at it.
Geoff: Nah, man. I'm good.
Coach Mellor: Excuse me?
Geoff: I'm tired of being Mr. Pushover who always scoops the scoop balls after class. As leader of the JTP, I say Andy does it.
Barry: Hey! He's not the leader of the JTP. You don't have to do that, Andy.
Andy: But Geoff said I should.
Barry: Well, I say Geoff scoops the scoop balls!
Geoff: You scoop the scoop balls!
Barry: I'm not scooping no scoop balls!
Coach Mellor: Somebody scoop the scoop balls.
Matt: I'll scoop the scoop balls, okay?
Barry: Don't you dare scoop the scoop balls, Matthew!
Coach Mellor: Fine! You'll all scoop the scoop balls!
Geoff: Or better yet, [bleep], why don't you scoop my [bleep]?

Naked Rob: Dude, Barry, your arm is a cannon.
Barry: And that's a Nerf, which is way harder to throw than a real football.
Geoff: Wow. You know a lot about science.