Joey: Where is the waitress? I'm starving.
Chandler: It's a buffet, man.
Joey: Oh, here's where I win all my money back!

Joey: All right, Rach, the big question is, does he like you? Because if he doesn't like you, this is all a moo point.
Rachel: Huh. A "moo" point?
Joey: Yeah. It's like a cow's opinion. It just doesn't matter. It's "moo."
Rachel: Have I been living with him for too long, or did that all just make sense?

Monica: Anyway, it just doesn't seem worth it to make a whole turkey for just three people. Okay, it's a lot of work.
Joey: But you gotta have turkey on Thanksgiving. I mean, Thanksgiving with no turkey is like Fourth of July with no apple pie. Or Friday with no two pizzas.
Monica: Fine, if it means that much to you. But there's gonna be a ton left over.
Joey: No, there won't. I promise I will finish that turkey.
Monica: All right. You're telling me you can eat almost an entire turkey in one sitting?
Joey: That's right. Because I'm a Tribbiani. This is what we do. I mean, we may not be great thinkers or world leaders. We don't read a lot or run very fast. But damn it, we can eat!

Chandler: So Rachel's got 48 and Phoebe has the lead in vegetables. Joey?
Joey: Say hello to the new champ of Chandler's dumb states game.
Ross: Wow, how many you got?
Joey: 56.

Joey: Well, I was trying to figure out how to get to Buckingham Palace, so I'm in my map...

Monica: Joey, why don't you put them in the lost and found?
Joey: There's a lost and found? My shoe!
Chandler: You left a shoe here?
Joey: Well, I didn't realize till I got home. And I wasn't gonna walk all the way back down here with one shoe.

Joey: Hey. I just got off the phone with Estelle. Guess what? I got the lead in a movie.
Chandler: You got the lead in a movie? That's amazing. What's the movie about?
Joey: It's called Shutterspeed. It's really cool. Yeah, um, I meet this girl on the subway and we fall in love in, like, a day, right. And then she disappears. But I find out where she lives. And when I get there, this, like, old lady answers the door. And I say, "Where's Betsy?", right. And she says, "Betsy's been dead for 10 years."
Phoebe: Ooh. Chilling.

Joey: Look at this clown. Just because he's got a bigger boat he thinks he can take up the whole river. Get out of the way, jackass! Who names their boat Coast Guard, anyway?
Rachel: That is the Coast Guard.
Joey: What are they doing out here? The coast is all the way over there.

Joey: Okay, buddy boy, here it is. You hide my clothes, I'm wearing everything you own.
Chandler: Oh, my God! That is so not the opposite of taking somebody's underwear!
Joey: Look at me! I'm Chandler. Could I be wearing any more clothes? Maybe if I wasn't going commando. [Chandler groans] Yeah. I tell you, it's hot with all this stuff on. I better not do any, I don't know, lunges.

Joey: But it is odd how a woman's purse looks so good on me, a man.
Rachel: Exactly. Unisex!
Joey: Maybe you need sex. I had sex a couple days ago.
Rachel: No. No, Joey. U-N-I sex.
Joey: Well, I ain't gonna say no to that.