Adult Chris: [v.o.] While my mother was pushing her luck, Mr. Omar was trying to pull a fast one.
Mr. Omar: Hey, I got peanut butter and jelly, fried bologna and mustard, Kool-Aid and chips.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] The homeless shelter special.
Mr. Omar: Anything else?
Tonya: I thought you were supposed to be staying with us.
Mr. Omar: No, I told you father I would check on y'all. So I'm checking on you. You okay?
Drew: Yeah.
Mr. Omar: All right, so I'll be back to check on you again.
Tonya: Mr. Omar? Can you make me some hot chocolate?
Mr. Omar: [sighs] Okay. Hot chocolate it is.
Drew: Oh, Mr. Omar? Could you please make me some cheese toast?
Mr. Omar: Cheese toast and hot chocolate. Okay, great.

Mrs. Booker: Omar, can I talk to you a second?
Mr. Omar: Oh, be right back.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] Monopoly wasn't all he was losing.
Mrs. Booker: How much longer are you going to be down here?
Mr. Omar: Well, the way Drew's playing, not much longer. He got me for $2,000.
Mrs. Booker: I didn't come here to hear you talk about Monopoly.
Drew: Mr. Omar, it's your turn.
Mr. Omar: Here I come. [to Mrs. Booker] Look, I told Mr. Julius I would watch the kids and that's what I'm gonna do. I'm sorry.
Mrs. Booker: You watching the kids? I'm going home.
Mr. Omar: You'd better take those pumps off and put on some snow shoes or you ain't gonna make it.

Adult Chris: [v.o.] Every time we saw Mr. Omar he wanted to borrow something.
Julius: Hey, Mr. Omar.
Mr. Omar: Oh, hey, Mr. Julius. [silence]
Julius: Can I help you?
Mr. Omar: Well, you know, I was about to go and use the pay phone to make a phone call, but since you're home, I might as well use your phone.
Julius: What happened to your phone?
Mr. Omar: To tell you the truth, I don't know.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] I do.
[fantasy: a woman works at a telephone exchange:]
Operator: If he's not going to talk to me, he's not going to talk to anybody. [pulls cable]
Adult Chris: [v.o.] He's lucky she didn't work for the electric company.
[reality:]
Julius: It's not a long-distance call, is it?
Mr. Omar: Oh, no, it's local.
Julius: All right, go ahead.
Mr. Omar: Thank you. You a gentleman and a scholar.

Mr. Omar: Hey, listen. If Mrs. Perkins calls, just say I'm not home.
Julius: You're not.
Mr. Omar: You're on it. [laughs] You don't miss a thing, Mr. Julius.

Mrs. Perkins: How you doing?
Julius: I'm fine.
Mrs. Morales: ¿Cómo está?
Julius: Muy bien. Hey, Mr. Omar.
Mr. Omar: You know, Mr. Julius, you didn't have to do that. If you didn't want me to use your phone, why didn't you just say so?
Julius: Sorry.
Mr. Omar: Sorry? That was just wrong, man. You sorry? The bald cut is sorry.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] Mr. Omar learned what dope dealers knew for years: If you want to keep your business to yourself, use a pay phone.

Mr. Omar: The mailman left this letter for Mr. Julius in my mailbox by mistake.
Rochelle: Oh, okay. Thank you.
Mr. Omar: By the way, I was wondering if I could ask you a favor.
Rochelle: Sure.
Mr. Omar: You wouldn't happen to have another pair of pantyhose I could borrow?
Rochelle: Pantyhose?
Adult Chris: [v.o.] Borrow?
Mr. Omar: I need a new stocking cap for my hair.
Rochelle: Okay, sure. You can have these.
Mr. Omar: Were you about to put these on, or did you just take them off?
Rochelle: They're new, Mr. Omar.
Mr. Omar: Oh, okay, then. Thanks.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] I think he's disappointed.

Rochelle: I was wondering if you might know of any available men around her age?
Mr. Omar: Uh-oh, momma's got a brand new bag, huh? [laughs] Yeah, I think I might know a few people. Come on in.
Rochelle: Okay, thanks.
Mr. Omar: So, uh, how is Mr. Julius?
Rochelle: He's fine.
Mr. Omar: Oh.

Mr. Omar: Well, I'm going to bed.
Chris: So what time do you want me to turn off the lights?
Mr. Omar: Oh, I don't care. You can stay up all night if you want. And there's some videos over there you're welcome to watch. I've got Night of the Living Dead, Dawn of the Dead, Day of the Dead, Dead Zone, Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid, Death in Venice, Death Wish, Love and Death, Murder by Death, and Ososhiki aka Death, Japanese Style.
Chris: Cool, thanks.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] Turns out Mr. Omar only had one movie that wasn't about death.
Chris: Richard Pryor: Live in Concert.

Mr. Omar: Chris. Chris. Chris?!
Chris: [wakes up] What?
Mr. Omar: What time are you going to be home from school?
Chris: Like, 5:00. Why?
Mr. Omar: Can you make it midnight?
Chris: No. I'm a kid, I can't stay out that late.
Mr. Omar: Hmm. Yeah, you got a point. Well, in that case, I won't be home tonight.
Chris: Where are you going to be?
Mr. Omar: Minding my own business.

Mr. Omar: Merry Christmas, everybody! Let the yuletide ring!
Rochelle: What is all this?
Mr. Omar: Oh, the Widows' Choir of Bed-Stuy.
Rochelle: Hey, y'all.
All: Hi.
Mr. Omar: What's wrong with y'all? You look like the Grinch stole your Christmas.
Julius: We're not celebrating Christmas this year. We're celebrating Kwanzaa.
Drew: Yeah, we're tired of being consumed by this capitalistic nation's mindless consumerism.
Mr. Omar: Tragic. Well, you won't be needing this, then. Come on, ladies! Let's go and celebrate some Christmas cheer.