Dr. Cox: [whistles] Gather round, doomed new interns who just paged me! Quick question: What does this outfit tell you?
Dr. Kelso: You are entering a Joe Piscopo look-alike contest?
Dr. Cox: It means that I was just working out which, incidentally, is the last remaining activity I have in my adult life that qualifies as "me time." Other activities recently crossed off of that list include my morning dump and all showers. You see, my dear son Jack has decided that those are team sports. However, I'm here, and I'm totally psyched to hear whatever the super-de-duper reason is that you paged me.
Intern #1: Mr. White's chart said to remove his eight stitches, but we counted nine. Should we leave one?
Dr. Cox: That's it. Every single one of you is gonna run laps around the hallways until I say stop. [interns laugh] Ya! Ya! Ya, ya, ya! Ya!

[The Janitor sprays a window with blue cleaning fluid and wipes it. He then aims the spray in his mouth. Dr. Kelso takes a second look as he passes by.]
Janitor: I filled it with blue Gatorade. I just do that to freak people out.
Dr. Kelso: Scintillating.

Carla: J.D. needs us right now, okay? So this is what we're gonna do: Dr. Cox, you're backing off. Elliot, you go talk to him.
Elliot: Can't wait to talk to J.D. Maybe we can chat about how everyone in this frickin' hospital, other than me, is having a baby. I mean, seriously, having a baby, having a baby, having a second baby! Or having her husband's best friend's baby! That's right, Mona, everyone knows! What are you looking at, Dr. Beardface? You want a kid? Cause I swear to God, I will mount you right now!
Dr. Beardface: It's Beardfacé, dammit!