Leslie Knope: [aside to camera] Grant Larsen has offered me a chance to oversee a branch office of the national park service. This is like the parks equivalent of Bruce Springsteen pulling Courtney Cox onstage. I mean, one minute you're just a regular girl in the crowd, and the next minute you're dancing 10 feet away from freakin' Max Weinberg!

Leslie Knope: If you look inside your bags, you will find a few things. A bouquet of hand-crocheted flower pens... A mosaic portrait of each of you made from the crushed bottles of your favorite diet soda, and a personalized 5,000-word essay of why you are all so awesome.
[aside to camera:]
Leslie Knope: What's Galentine's Day? Oh, it's only the best day of the year. Every February 13th, my lady friends and I leave our husbands and our boyfriends at home and we just come and kick it breakfast style. Ladies celebrating ladies. It's like Lilith Fair minus the angst, plus frittatas.

Leslie Knope: [aside to camera] This land is begging to be a new national park. And it's in my own backyard. This could be my crowning achievement. I could retire. I mean, I wouldn't. I'm gonna work until I'm 100 and then cut back to four days a week. Oh, God, I'm already so bored thinking about that one day off. Maybe I'll go to law school or something.

Ann: First of all, this is Evelyn.
Leslie Knope: Oh, hello.
Ann: She is my Health Department counterpart from Eagleton.
Evelyn: There really wasn't a ton of work for me there. Eagletonians are very healthy.
Leslie Knope: Oh, well, this might be a very interesting challenge for you, because Pawnee has the very first documented case of mega-diabetes. And the only know occurrence of Lou Gehrig's other disease. We've been written about in textbooks.

Leslie Knope: And I am submitting this. A brief history of everything that has ever happened since Pawnee was founded. Not like you get extra credit for this, but I did type it from memory. And for the first time ever compiled, it includes a complete list of every official town slogan we've ever had.
April: Oh, my God, Leslie.
Leslie Knope: I know. Can you believe it?
April: That's crazy.
Leslie Knope: Isn't it?
[aside to camera:]
Leslie Knope: "Pawnee: The Paris of America. Pawnee: The Akron of Southwest Indiana. Pawnee: Welcome, German soldiers." After the Nazis took France, our mayor kind of panicked. "Pawnee: The factory fire capital of America. Pawnee: Welcome, Vietnamese soldiers. Pawnee: Engage with Zorp." For a brief time in the '70s, our town was taken over by a cult. "Pawnee: Zorp is dead. Long live Zorp. Pawnee: It's safe to be here now. Pawnee: Birthplace of Julia Roberts." That was a lie, she sued, and so we had to change it. "Pawnee: Home of the world-famous Julia Roberts lawsuit." "Pawnee: Welcome, Taliban soldiers." And finally, our current slogan: "Pawnee: First in friendship, fourth in obesity."

Leslie Knope: Well, luckily, I'm heading up there. I'll invite him out to dinner and I'll poke around a little bit.
Ann: Okay.
Leslie Knope: I mean, he's not gonna be able to keep anything from me. In high school, they used to call me Angela Lansbury. But that was because of my haircut.

Leslie Knope: [aside to camera] Why do I want to build this park so bad? Maybe because a pit filled with garbage isn't the best that we can do in America. You know, in Russia, they could pretend that pit was a park, bring their kids down there. "Hey, Vlad! Look at these rocks! Let's pretend they're potatoes!" "Nikolai! Do you want to swim in the dirt?" But not here. Okay? 'Cause we're a nation of dreamers. And it is my dream to build a park. That I one day visit with my White House staff on my birthday. And they say, "President Knope, this park is awesome. Now we understand why you are the first female President of the United States."

Leslie Knope: [aside to camera] I just want this dinner party to go well. There are very few things I've asked for in this world. To build a new park from scratch. To eventually become president. And to one day solve a murder on a train. I think it's fair to add this to the list.

Evelyn Roushland: Well, Ms. Knope, I have to say I'm very disappointed.
Leslie Knope: You didn't have to say that. You could have just thought it.
Evelyn Roushland: What'd you do with the possum exactly?
Leslie Knope: Well, I'm proud to say that it's somewhere the Mayor can never pee on it.
[aside to camera:]
Leslie Knope: It's okay, honestly. I mean, look, when I retire, and I'm attending some gala honoring the first three female presidents in history - myself, and two other women I've inspired - I wanna be looking back at my distinguished legacy, and not thinking that I owe my career to some possum. And I wanna be wearing a huge, beautiful blue hat.

Leslie Knope: Okay, my second favorite episode, Monica's making dinner. And Joey is mad at Chandler because Chandler made out with his girlfriend. So Joey says, "Get in the box." I forgot to tell you there's a box. Oh, and it's Thanksgiving day. So they get ready to eat. What is Ross and Rachel doing? Oh, they're fighting. So Ross, Rachel, Joey, Chandler, Monica, and Phoebe are all together. Although is Phoebe there? Yes. So...