Joey: "Vulva?"
Ross: All right, I panicked, all right? She took me by surprise, you know. But it wasn't a total loss.
We ended up cuddling.
Joey: Oh, you cuddled? How many times?
Ross: Shut up. It was nice. I just don't think I'm a dirty-talking kind of guy.

Chandler: There just don't happen to be any women in our game.
Joey: Yeah, we just don't happen to know any women who know how to play poker.
Monica: Oh, please that is a lame excuse. It's a typical guy response.
Ross: Excuse me. Do any of you know how to play?
All the women: No.
Rachel: But you could teach us.
All the men: No.

Monica: Excuse me, where are you going?
Ross: To the bathroom.
Monica: Do you want to go to the bathroom or do you want to play poker?
Ross: I wanna go to the bathroom.

Ross: Breathe.
Susan: Breathe.
Ross: Breathe.
Susan: Breathe.
Ross: Breathe.
Susan: Breathe.
Ross: Breathe.
Susan: Breathe.
Carol: You're gonna kill me.

Carol: No shouting, but we still need a name for this little guy.
Ross: How about Ben?
Susan: I like Ben.
Carol: Ben. Ben. Ben's good. How come you never mentioned Ben before?
Ross: We just cooked it up.
Susan: That's what we were off doing.

Ross: Okay, here is to my sister, the newly appointed head lunch chef.
Chandler: Who's also in charge of purchasing.
Ross: Newly appointed head lunch chef, who's also in charge of purchasing-
Monica: Who has her own little desk when Roland's not there.
Ross: Uh. Lunch chef, purchasing, own little desk when Roland's not there- Here's to my little sister
Monica: Ooh, ooh. Wait. And I got a beeper!
Joey: Oh, cool.
Ross: That's fine, I'll just wait.
Monica: Oh, sorry.
Ross: ... Monica!

Ross: How about the time I cut the legs off your Malibu Ken?
Monica: That was you?
Ross: They were infected. He wouldn't have made it.

Ross: Rachel, do you? I mean, were you? What?
Rachel: Okay, okay. Basically, Iately, I've- I've sort of had feelings for you.
Ross: You've had feelings for me?
Rachel: Yeah, what, so? You had feelings for me first.
Ross: Whoa. You know about my- You know I had- You know?
Rachel: Chandler told me.
Ross: Chandler. When did he? When did he? When did he?
Rachel: When you were in China.
Ross: China.
Rachel: Meeting Julie.
Ross: Julie. Julie. That's- Oh, God! Okay, I need to lie down. No, I'm gonna stand. I'm gonna stand and I'm gonna walk. I'm walking and I am standing. And, what, now you're over me?
Rachel: Are you over me?
Ross: [buzzer] That's Julie. That's Julie. Julie. Hi, Julie.
Julie: Hi, honey, I've got a cab waiting. I'll be right down.
Rachel: Wait, so you're going?
Ross: Well, okay, I have to. I can't deal with this right now. I mean, I've- You know, I've got a cab.
I've got a girlfriend. I'm gonna go get a cat.

Ross: I don't think Mom and Dad would mind. Remember when you were 9 and Richard was 30, Dad said "God, I hope they get together."

Ross: Look, Ben. It's a toy that protects U.S. oil interests overseas.