Phoebe: You guys, remember that cute client I told you about? I bit him.
Rachel: Where?
Phoebe: On the tushy.
Ross: And that's not against your oath?
Phoebe: No, I know. I'm sorry, but the moment I touch him I want to throw out my old oath and take a new, dirty one.

Monica: Everybody at the restaurant still hates me. I thought was making headway. Everyone was smiling at me all day, and then I get off work and find out that they wrote this on my chef's hat.
Phoebe: Hey, maybe they meant to write "Quiet, Bitch."

Phoebe: I'm sorry I'm late.
Phoebe Abbott: That's okay. It gave me time to finish glazing my nipples.
Phoebe: Wow. You really go all out when you're expecting company.
Phoebe Abbott: No, I was working on my pottery.
Phoebe: Oh! I didn't know that you did ... pot.
Phoebe Abbott: Oh yeah, but mostly nudes. It combines my two favorite passions: pottery and erotica.
Phoebe: Erottery.

Phoebe: It'll be a million times harder to give up a baby, but oh, my God. It's going to feel a million times better, right?

Chandler: Open up! Open up! Open up!
Monica: We'll discuss it in the morning.
Chandler: What the hell is going on?
Rachel: We took our apartment back.
Phoebe: I had nothing to do with it. Okay, it was my idea. But I don't feel good about it.

Phoebe: Don't be so hard on yourself. If someone I was still in love with was getting married-
Rachel: Still in love with?
Phoebe: Yeah.
Rachel: I'm not in love with Ross.
Phoebe: Oh. No, no. Good. Yeah, me neither.

Phoebe: I can't sit here anymore. I have to walk places.
Chandler: Pheebs, what are you doing with the coat? How about the whole animal rights thing?
Phoebe: Well, I've been reading up, and for your information minks are not very nice. Okay, I admit it. I love this coat, okay? It's the best thing I've ever had wrapped around me, including Phil Huntley. Remember Phil Huntley? He was fine.

Phoebe: Does anyone want to watch TV?
Joey: Yeah, sure.
Phoebe: Monica, your remote doesn't work.
Monica: Phoebe, you have to lift it and point.
Phoebe: Oh, forget it.

Ross: So, Pheebs, you going back out there?
Phoebe: Yeah, but I won't take any more crap. No more Mrs. Nice Bucket.
Monica: Yeah, good for you. You're tough. You lived on the street.
Phoebe: Yeah, I'm going to go back to being Street Phoebe. Yeah. Oh, but you know what, I can't go totally back because Street Phoebe would really wouldn't be friends with you guys.

Ross: I mean, I talked for hours. It is amazing to have someone give you such focused attention.
Phoebe: You don't need Janice for that. You've got us.
Joey: The duck gets the Nutter Butter.
Phoebe: No. Hey, that's not a Nutter Butter. That's an old won ton.
Joey: Judge rules Nutter Butter.
Phoebe: Oh, tough call.