Judy Geller: I'm not freaking out.
Monica: Why are you laughing?
Judy Geller: It's nothing. It's just now your father owes me $5.
Monica: What, you bet I'd lose a nail?
Judy Geller: No, don't be silly. I just bet that I'd need these.
Monica: Frozen lasagnas? You bet that I'd screw up? So all that stuff about how I was good was-
Judy Geller: No, that was all true. This was just in case you "pulled a Monica."
Monica: You promised Dr. Weinberg you'd never use that phrase.

Steven Waltham: Nice of you to offer to pay for half the wedding.
Jack Geller: The hell with tradition. We're happy to do it.
Judy Geller: Oh, we know how expensive weddings can be. Besides, this may be the only wedding we get to throw.
Monica: Ha, ha. A joke that's funny in all countries.

Judy Geller: Jack, is it all our fault? Were we bad parents?
Steven Waltham: Yes.

Jack Geller: What's the matter with him?
Judy Geller: I think he's stoned again.

Jack Geller: I remember when we first got engaged.
Chandler: Oh, I don't think I've ever heard that story.
Monica: Oh, Dad, you don't really-
Jack Geller: Well, I'd gotten Judy pregnant. I still don't know how that happened.
Judy Geller: You don't know how that happened? Your dog thought my diaphragm was a chew toy.

Judy Geller: I wish your grandmother had lived to see this.
Monica: She's right there.
Judy Geller: Not that old crone. My mother.

Judy Geller: This is your grandma's engagement ring, I want you to give it to Rachel.
Ross: Mom, no. Come on. Thank you-
Judy Geller: Just hear me out-
Ross: No. No. Okay? We've been through this. We're not going to get married just because she's pregnant, okay?
Judy Geller: Honestly, Ross, this isn't just some girl you picked up in a bar and humped. A child should have a family.
Ross: Mom, you know what? I can't deal with this right now. I'm sorry.
Judy Geller: Just think about it. If you don't, I'll talk more about humping.
Ross: Give me that.

Judy Geller: Mmm. What's that curry taste?
Monica: Curry.
Judy Geller: [unconvincingly] Mmm.

Richard: Judy! Going to the bathroom. Good for you.
Judy Geller: Thank you, Richard. I appreciate the support.

Monica: Let me ask you a question. Why did you hire me?
Judy Geller: Well, Richard raved about the food at his party. Of course, you were sleeping with him. Then I heard the food at that lesbian wedding was nice. I assume you didn't sleep with anyone there. Although at least that would be something.