Monica: Okay, guys, listen. Don't forget, tomorrow is the day that Emily gets married again.
So whatever we do, just try to really keep Ross's mind off of it.
Joey: Good idea.
Chandler: Hey, man. What's up?
Ross: Just thinking about Emily getting married tomorrow.
Joey: Oh, Ross. Look, look.
Ross: What? Where?
Joey: Right over there. There. Look, look, look.
Ross: What am I looking at?
Joey: Somebody help me out here.

Chandler: What is so great about that sandwich?
Joey: Okay, imagine the best sex you ever had.
Chandler: Okay.
Joey: Are you thinking about Monica?
Chandler: Yeah.
Joey: Yeah? What's that like?

Joey: I hate Pottery Barn too. They kicked me out of there just because I sat on a bed.
Chandler: You took off your pants and climbed under the sheets.
Joey: I was tired.

Joey: Hey, Ross, listen. You want anything to drink? Because I'm heading up there.
Ross: Yeah, I'll take a coffee. Thanks, man.
Joey: Sure. Coffee? Because I'm going up there.
Rachel: No.
Monica: No, thank you.
Joey: You guys need anything? Because I'm heading up there.
Woman: I'd love an ice water.
Joey: You got it.

Rachel: This is Chandler. And you know Monica and Ross. And that's Phoebe. And that's Joey.
Joey: How you doin'?
Rachel: Don't.

Ross: I have to say you are a much bigger person than I am. I mean, after all we've been through. I wish I had a brother to reciprocate. Hey, if you ever date Monica, you have my blessing.
Joey: And mine.

Cecilia Monroe: So when Jessica kisses a man she usually puts both her hands on the man's face.
Joey: Yeah, I notice that. Is that because she's so passionate?
Cecilia Monroe: No, it's because that way the camera only sees her.

Joey: Well, the wedding is the same day as my niece's christening and I want my parents to see me. I mean, my part's in the beginning. I'm not in the rest of the show- Wedding.
Monica: The wedding starts at 6.
Joey: Okay. Okay. I totally hear you. Oh, how about this? I vamp till they get there.
Monica: You'll "vamp"?
Joey: Yeah, yeah. Like warm up the crowd. I'll ask where they're from. Because in Joey Tribbianni, you get a minister and an entertainer. I'm a "ministainer." There's no one better. There's no one greater.

Joey: Hey, don't worry. I'm still ordained from your wedding.
Monica: Really?
Joey: Yeah. You think I'd give up being a minister and start paying to ride the subway?
Ross: Ministers don't ride the subway for free.
Joey: I had to read the Bible pretty carefully, but, yeah, we do.

Ross: Oh, my God!
Phoebe: Unbelievable!
Joey: Hey, you know what might help?
Ross: I'm not getting you a muffin!