Adult Chris: [v.o.] Back home, my dad's mojo recipes were laying eggs.
Julius: Honey, I've done everything I can, and things just keep getting worse. They've had over four glasses of the remedy each, and their temperature just keeps going up.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] Maybe that's because Clay-Dough is not the stuffy-nose, runny-eyes, scratchy-throat and knock-you-out-so-you-can-sleep medicine.

Adult Chris: [v.o.] While the fire alarm rang, Drew and Tonya were burning up.
Julius: So you just gonna go to work and leave us like this?
Rochelle: There is no mojo, Julius. The children are sick. You refuse to give them real medicine.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] Just like the government.

Adult Chris: [v.o.] Just about everything I ever went through in school was hard. The work was tough.
Chris: "Q"? What's a Q?
Adult Chris: [v.o.] The people were mean.
Chris: [to Greg] Go ahead. [Greg runs away]
[Caruso keeps blocking Chris]
Chris: Are we having a fight or a dance-off?
Joey Caruso: [punches Chris] You know I can't dance.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] But the one thing about school that was harder than anything else...
Rochelle: Chris, wake up.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] ...was getting there.
Rochelle: It's time to go to school. You can't learn nothing in bed.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] Tell that to Kim Kardashian.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] While most people kids were still sleeping, I had to get my clothes on, wash my face, brush my teeth, eat...
Chris: Hey-hey-hey! Wait-wait-wait-wait-wait! Wait, wait!
Adult Chris: [v.o.] ...and then catch three buses. If I got the first one on time, it gave me just enough time to catch the second one... which usually made me right on time to catch the third one. And if nothing went wrong, I'd be on time.

Pam: So, Julius, what do you think?
Julius: Looks nice.
Pam: Yeah, just wrap it up for the next couple of nights, it'll hold.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] That's what they told Michael Jackson about his face.

Pam: I'm sorry. Why didn't you just say something?
Adult Chris: [v.o.] Why didn't you just pay him back?
Pam: Um, can I pay you back tomorrow? I left my wallet at home.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] You've got a cash register right there.

Adult Chris: [v.o.] You may not think messing up a pair of $40 shoes is such a big deal, but you have to realize that my father's car only cost $65. I had to get those shoes clean.

Adult Chris: [v.o.] After a couple of weeks at Tattaglia without Greg, I tried hanging out with a few different crowds to make myself feel better. I tried hanging out with the losers.
Chris: So what do you want to study? Math or science?
Boy #1: Dude, why are you always studying?
Boy #2: Yeah, you act like we're graduating tomorrow. Don't be such a downer.
Adult Chris: [v.o.] I even tried hanging out with the break-dance crews. I only had a connection with one person in the school, and it was the wrong type of connection.
Joey Caruso: [punches Chris] What's up, Theo?
Adult Chris: [v.o.] There was only one time during the day that I didn't miss Greg. Home Ec. It smelled like biscuits, and it looked like Victoria's Secret. Greg wasn't there, but if there's one way to replace one good friend, it's with a bunch of strange women. Hey, that's how strip clubs were born.

Adult Chris: [v.o.] My father always slept in his uniform. That way when he woke up, he'd be ready to go.

Adult Chris: [v.o.] Some days, I thought everyone I saw was Keisha. [a pregnant woman walks by] I'm glad that wasn't her. Well, at least I hope that wasn't her. Keisha?
Old Woman: You ain't taking my check!
[After the old woman pepper sprays Chris, he stumbles into the street]
Chris: [screams] What check? What was she thinking?
Man: Get out of the street, fool! Get out of the street, fool!
[Chris jumps out of the way, onto the hood of a parked car]
Man: Get off of my car, fool!
Adult Chris: [v.o.] I got to get this girl off my mind.