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Popular Quotes

Quote from Michael Scott in The Office episode Nepotism

Michael Scott: I suppose summer had to end sometime. It's sad, though, because I had a great summer. I got West Nile virus, lost a ton of weight. Then I went back to the lake. I stepped on a piece of glass in the parking lot, which hurt. That got infected even though I peed on it. Saw Inception. Or at least I dreamt I did.

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Quote from Phoebe Buffay in Friends episode The One with Phoebe's Birthday Dinner

Rachel: Well, now that everybody has ordered, I would like to start the celebration and make a toast to Phoebe. She dropped her sock.
Phoebe: Aw. What?
Rachel: No. No, Emma dropped her sock.
Monica: Mom's here? I wanted to have lunch with her today. She told me she was out of town.
Rachel: Ross, she still has not noticed that the baby's sock is on the ground.
Phoebe: It's a good toast.
Rachel: Look, will you please get her attention?
Ross: Oh. Mommy? Mother. [mouths] Sock.
Phoebe: Oh, for God's sake. Judy, pick up the sock! Pick up the sock! Pick up the sock!

Quote from Joey Tribbiani in Friends episode The One After Vegas

Joey: Where is the waitress? I'm starving.
Chandler: It's a buffet, man.
Joey: Oh, here's where I win all my money back!

Quote from Christopher Turk in Scrubs episode My Advice to You

J.D.: [v.o.] It's always nice when someone from Carla's family comes to town. Mostly because she cleans our apartment.
Carla: Why is there a pancake in the silverware drawer?
Turk: You mean, why is there silverware in the pancake drawer? Wuh-huh!

Quote from Janitor in Scrubs episode My First Day

Janitor: The door is broke. Probably the fifth time or so it don't open.
J.D.: Maybe a penny's stuck in there.
Janitor: Why a penny?
J.D.: I don't know.
Janitor: Did you stick a penny in there?
J.D.: No, I was making small talk.
Janitor: If I find a penny in there, I'm taking you down.

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Quote from Stevie Budd in Schitt's Creek episode The Candidate

Alexis: Is it hard for you?
Stevie: Uh, is what hard for me?
Alexis: Like, being by yourself here? Like, you're just totally okay to sit here all day by yourself?
Stevie: That's why I took the job.
Alexis: Mmm-hmm. Okay. And while you're here, by yourself, you never get this almost uncontrollable urge to talk to people, or be complimented, or..?
Stevie: I know everyone in this town, so for the most part, I would rather be here by myself than engage in meaningless conversation with people I don't care about.
Alexis: Totally. Mm-hmm. And why is that?
Stevie: Because I enjoy my own company more.
Alexis: Of course. Of course.

Quote from Michael Scott in The Office episode The Job

David: So, let me ask you a question right off the bat, what do you think are your greatest strengths as a manager?
Michael Scott: Why don't I tell you what my greatest weaknesses are? I work too hard, I care too much, and sometimes I can be too invested in my job.
David: Okay. And your strengths?
Michael Scott: Well, my weaknesses are actually strengths.
David: Oh. Yes. Very good.
Michael Scott: There you go.

Quote from Dorothy Zbornak in The Golden Girls episode Stand by Your Man

Dorothy: Well, of course I had a pet. Remember, Ma? I was six years old, and I wanted a pony?
Sophia: Not the pony thing again.
Dorothy: She promised me a pony. She swore I'd get a pony. She brings me a little paper bird on a stick from the circus. The kind you have to twirl around your head to get them to tweet.
Rose: And that was your pet?
Sophia: They're very clean.
Dorothy: Then she tells me if I'm a good girl, a really good girl, God will turn that paper bird into a real one, which I believed, because why would a mother lie? So every day, I'm being very good and praying and looking for any sign of life and becoming very attached to that ridiculous paper bird. So you can imagine my heartbreak when one morning I find it dead.
Rose: How does a paper bird die?
Dorothy: Good question. Someone used it to restart the pilot light.

Quote from Michael Scott in The Office episode Launch Party

Michael Scott: Guess who just ordered from your favorite pizza place, Alfredo?
Kevin: Wait. Alfredo's pizza cafe? Or Pizza by Alfredo?
Michael Scott: Same thing. [everyone groans] You know what, I don't understand when you all talk at the same time!
Kevin: Oscar, talk to him.
Oscar: Michael, there's a very big difference between these two pizza places. Both in quality of ingredients and in overall taste. Which one did you order from?
Michael Scott: Pizza by Alfredo. [everyone groans] All right, you know what? Okay, okay. What is better, a medium amount of good pizza, or all you can eat of pretty good pizza?
All: A medium amount of good pizza.

Quote from Robert California in The Office episode Get the Girl

Robert: Jim, I told Andy to come in, and yet he is still not in. By contrast, Nellie Bertram saw a vacuum and filled it. To make no mention of her business experience or her relationship with Jo Bennett, my boss.
Jim: Yes.
Robert: Jim, would you prefer a nature metaphor or a sexual metaphor?
Jim: Oh, god, nature, please.
Robert: When two animals are having sex, one of them is communicating a message to the other. Nothing is mutua- This isn't very helpful. You're gonna want to hear the sexual metaphor.
Jim: Was that not the-
Robert: All life is sex. And all sex is competition.
Jim: Mmm-hm.
Robert: And there are no rules to that game. That wasn't so perverted, now was it?
Jim: Was that it? No, that wasn't bad.

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Malcolm in the Middle Quotes

Malcolm in the Middle Quotes

We have added over 4,000 quotes from the 2000s sitcom Malcolm in the Middle. The series, about a boy genius from a dysfunctional family who is sent to his school's gifted program, aired from 2000 to 2006 on FOX. The show starred Frankie Muniz, Jane Kaczmarek, Bryan Cranston, Christopher Kennedy Masterson, Justin Berfield and Erik Per Sullivan. Catch up with your favorite quotes from Malcolm, Lois, Hal, Francis, Reese and Dewey.

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3rd Rock from the Sun Quotes

3rd Rock from the Sun Quotes

We have added over 4,000 quotes from the '90s sitcom 3rd Rock From the Sun. The series, about a group of aliens who land in Ohio and pose as an American family to study humans, starred John Lithgow, Kristen Johnston, French Stewart, Joseph Gordon-Levitt, Jane Curtin, Wayne Knight, Simbi Khali, and Elmarie Wendel. Catch up with your favorite quotes from Dick, Sally, Harry, Tommy, Mary, Nina, and Mrs. Dubcek.

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Arrested Development Quotes

Arrested Development Quotes

We have added quotes from the cult favorite Arrested Development, which ran for three seasons on FOX from 2003 to 2006 before Netflix revived the show for another two seasons in 2013 and 2018/19. Catch up with the best quotes from the Bluth family: Michael, Lindsay, Gob, George Michael, Maeby, Buster, Tobias, George Sr. and Lucille.

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Gilmore Girls Quotes

Gilmore Girls Quotes

We have added over 6,000 quotes from the 2000s comedy-drama series Gilmore Girls to the site. The show focuses on fast-talking, coffee-drinking mother and daughter Lorelai and Rory Gilmore, who have an especially close relationship since Lorelai had Rory when she was sixteen. Wanting the best for her daughter, Lorelai is even willing to reconnect with her estranged parents, Richard and Emily, so Rory can attend a local private school.

Catch up with your favorite quotes from the Gilmores: Lorelai, Rory, Richard and Emily; and the residents of Stars Hollow: Sookie, Lane, Michel, Luke and Kirk.

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The Middle Quotes

The Middle Quotes

We have added over 7,000 quotes from The Middle, the ABC sitcom which aired from 2009 to 2018. The show follows Frankie, a middle-aged mother in a middle-class family living in the middle of America. The series starred Patricia Heaton, Neil Flynn, Charlie McDermott, Eden Sher and Atticus Shaffer. Catch up with your favorite quotes from the Hecks: Frankie, Mike, Axl, Sue and Brick.

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