Emily: I just wanna know what you were thinking. What was the reasoning? How on earth did you justify it to yourself?
Lorelai: Max is a great guy. An amazing guy. He's smart. He's sweet. He cooks.
Emily: So you decided to kiss him in your daughter's school.
Lorelai: No, I decided to break up with him in my daughter's school and the kissing part just happened.
Emily: You always let your emotions get in the way. That's the problem with you, Lorelai. You don't think.
Lorelai: Mom, please.
Emily: He's just a man, Lorelai.
Lorelai: No, he's not.
Emily: Oh, so, what are you telling me? This was all worth it because he was the love of your life? That this was the man for you?
Lorelai: I don't know. He might have been. Excuse me.

Lorelai: Wow. These are beautiful. Huh. I never read Proust. I always wanted to. Every now and then I'm seized with an overwhelming urge to say something like: "As Marcel Proust would say..." But I have no idea what he would say. So I don't even go there. I could do, "As Michael Crichton would say..." but it's not exactly the same.

Rory: "L"
Lorelai: Laryngitis. "M"
Rory: Mumps. "N"
Lorelai: Narcolepsy. "O"
Rory: Are we going to have to go through this every time we decide who has to clean the refrigerator?
Lorelai: You wanna go back to thumb wrestling?
Rory: Osteoporosis. "P"
Lorelai: Puppies!
Rory: That's not a disease. Oh, boy!

Lorelai: He loaned me a book.
Rory: What book?
Lorelai: Swann's Way.
Rory: Aren't we ambitious?
Lorelai: Yes, we are.
Rory: You know what it means when a man loans you a book?
Lorelai: That he's already read it?
Rory: Yeah.

Lorelai: What was that?
Rory: The doorbell rang.
Lorelai: Why did the doorbell ring?
Rory: Because someone's at the door.
Lorelai: It's 8:00. Who shows up at 8:00 for an 8:00 date?
Rory: I don't know. Maybe a Chilton teacher?
Lorelai: Everyone knows that 8:00 means 8:15 tops! Obviously, he was raised in a barn. I tell you, he's cute, but his punctuality has knocked ten points off his dream-guy quotient.

Lorelai: Wait, you have to get the door.
Rory: What?
Lorelai: Because I'm not ready.
Rory: I'm not supposed to get the door. Remember? We agreed. I don't get the door when you have a date.
Lorelai: I know, but-
Rory: I'm not even supposed to be here. That's the first rule of the Gilmore Dating Handbook. "Daughter shall be nowhere near house when said man materializes." It's a good rule. It's been working.
Lorelai: He's standing there, it's cold and my slip is now completely stuck in my skirt zipper.
Rory: Mom.
Lorelai: Just this once.

Max Medina: How about this, then? We'll come up with non-Chilton names for each other. When we're not in school, I'll call you Rebecca.
Rory: Rebecca.
Max Medina: And you'll call me?
Rory: Norman?
Michel: Norman?
Rory: Sorry?
Max Medina: I look like a Norman to you?
Rory: I'm sorry. Psycho was on earlier, and it was just the first name that came to mind. I'll think of something else. How about Alfred?

Sookie: [beeper sounds] Gotta go.
Rory: Anything wrong?
Sookie: Too much yeast, too little bowl.
Lorelai: Enough said.

Sookie: How are the feet?
Lorelai: I don't know. They stopped talking to me.
Sookie: What on earth were you thinking?
Lorelai: That I could still skate.
Sookie: It's not like riding a bike, you know.
Lorelai: Now you tell me.
Sookie: So, what are you up to tonight?
Lorelai: Well, I'm gonna do a little line dancing, then run 10 km and then just jump up and down really hard for an hour.

Rory: You remember Paris Geller?
Lorelai: Your very best friend in the whole world?
Rory: Her parents are getting a major divorce.
Lorelai: Really?
Rory: Her dad's this bigwig at a huge pharmaceutical company and they're printing all the sordid details about it in the paper.
Lorelai: Ooh, how sordid?
Rory: Well, it's not the Rick James incident but Hugh Grant should be feeling pretty good about himself.