- The Office 2005-2013
- Friends 1994-2004
- Modern Family 2009-2020
- New Girl 2011-2018
- Seinfeld 1989-1998
- The Golden Girls 1985-1992
- Gilmore Girls 2000-2007
- Cheers 1982-1993
- Everybody Loves Raymond 1996-2005
- The Goldbergs 2013-2023
- Frasier 1993-2004
- How I Met Your Mother 2005-2014
- Schitt's Creek 2015-2020
- Malcolm in the Middle 2000-2006
- Derry Girls 2018-2021
- That '70s Show 1998-2006
- Scrubs 2001-2010
- Parks and Recreation 2009-2015
- The Middle 2009-2018
- The Good Place 2016-2020
- Everybody Hates Chris 2005-2009
- The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air 1990-1996
- Monk 2002-2009
- Arrested Development 2003-2006, 2013-2019
- Home Improvement 1991-1999
- Superstore 2015-2021
- Boy Meets World 1993-2000
- 3rd Rock from the Sun 1996-2001
- Abbott Elementary 2021-
- The Wonder Years 2021-
- The Big Bang Theory 2007-2019 The Big Bang Theory Fan Site
- Brooklyn Nine-Nine 2013-2021 TheNineNine.com
- Young Sheldon 2017- Young-Sheldon.com
- 30 shows
- 452 characters
- 4,624 episodes
- 159,704 quotes
Popular Quotes
Quote from Christopher Turk in Scrubs episode My Advice to You
J.D.: [v.o.] It's always nice when someone from Carla's family comes to town. Mostly because she cleans our apartment.
Carla: Why is there a pancake in the silverware drawer?
Turk: You mean, why is there silverware in the pancake drawer? Wuh-huh!
Quote from Joey Tribbiani in Friends episode The One After Vegas
Joey: Where is the waitress? I'm starving.
Chandler: It's a buffet, man.
Joey: Oh, here's where I win all my money back!
Quote from Phoebe Buffay in Friends episode The One with Phoebe's Birthday Dinner
Rachel: Well, now that everybody has ordered, I would like to start the celebration and make a toast to Phoebe. She dropped her sock.
Phoebe: Aw. What?
Rachel: No. No, Emma dropped her sock.
Monica: Mom's here? I wanted to have lunch with her today. She told me she was out of town.
Rachel: Ross, she still has not noticed that the baby's sock is on the ground.
Phoebe: It's a good toast.
Rachel: Look, will you please get her attention?
Ross: Oh. Mommy? Mother. [mouths] Sock.
Phoebe: Oh, for God's sake. Judy, pick up the sock! Pick up the sock! Pick up the sock!
Quote from Janitor in Scrubs episode My First Day
Janitor: The door is broke. Probably the fifth time or so it don't open.
J.D.: Maybe a penny's stuck in there.
Janitor: Why a penny?
J.D.: I don't know.
Janitor: Did you stick a penny in there?
J.D.: No, I was making small talk.
Janitor: If I find a penny in there, I'm taking you down.
Quote from Blanche Devereaux in The Golden Girls episode Hey, Look Me Over
Rose: Wait a minute. If you didn't sleep with any of the men in these journals, then how come it says "Bed" on the cover?
Blanche: [laughs] Oh, that doesn't say "Bed".
Rose: Right there, it does.
Blanche: Oh, silly, those are my initials. Blanche Elizabeth Devereaux.
Dorothy: Your initials spell "Bed"?
Trending Quotes
Quote from Lorelai Gilmore in Gilmore Girls episode Paris Is Burning
Emily: I just wanna know what you were thinking. What was the reasoning? How on earth did you justify it to yourself?
Lorelai: Max is a great guy. An amazing guy. He's smart. He's sweet. He cooks.
Emily: So you decided to kiss him in your daughter's school.
Lorelai: No, I decided to break up with him in my daughter's school and the kissing part just happened.
Emily: You always let your emotions get in the way. That's the problem with you, Lorelai. You don't think.
Lorelai: Mom, please.
Emily: He's just a man, Lorelai.
Lorelai: No, he's not.
Emily: Oh, so, what are you telling me? This was all worth it because he was the love of your life? That this was the man for you?
Lorelai: I don't know. He might have been. Excuse me.
Quote from Newman in Seinfeld episode The Old Man
Ron: Well, what do you got here? You know, you got "Don Ho: Live At Honolulu", you got "Jerry Vale Sings Italian Love Songs" you got Sergio Mendes, now come on...
Kramer: Wait, wait, wait. Sergio Mendes has a cult following.
Newman: They follow him like a cult.
Kramer: He can't even walk down the street in South America.
Ron: Look, that's his problem, all right? Now you don't like it, too bad.
Kramer: [in Newman's ear] I don't like it.
Newman: I don't like it.
Ron: Well, then get the hell out of my store, all right? You bring me something decent, I'll give you some money.
Kramer: [in Newman's ear] All right, we'll be back, jack.
Newman: All right, we'll be back, jack!
Quote from Michael Scott in The Office episode Gossip
Michael Scott: But guys, I'm a victim here too, okay? People here have been saying that I'm a J. Crew model.
Angela: No. We heard that about Jim.
Michael Scott: Jim? No, no. I spread the rumor that somebody here was a J. Crew model, and I was referring to myself.
Angela: How is that a bad rumor?
Michael Scott: Because a lot of people think that models, even though they're very attractive, are somewhat vapid. It's set our industry back quite a bit.
Quote from Jay Pritchett in Modern Family episode Spuds
Jay: You know, it's... Thing about babies, you... you fall in love with a baby with the cutest little fat folds, and then... bam... they're gone. But it's okay, because in its place is this... toddler with the greatest laugh on Earth. And then one day, the toddler's gone, and in its place, a little kid that asks the most interesting questions you've ever heard. And this keeps going on like that, but you never get the chance to miss any of them, 'cause there's always a new kid to take the place of the old. Until they grow up. And then... in a moment, all those kids you fell in love with walk out the door at the same time.
Waitress: Jesus.
Jay: Oh, I don't mean to be a bummer. I'm just saying it goes fast. Like the expression... "You never know the last time you pick up your kid."
Quote from Dwight K. Schrute in The Office episode The Boat
Dwight K. Schrute: [wagging tongue for voice exercises] blah blah blah. Greta the tittle-tattle prattled on about the little metal bottle. She spat a bit of spittle on the moth that bit the cattle in a bitter battle. Hey, hey! Stop questioning my methods, okay? I was chosen for this task for a very good reason.
Jim: No, you chose yourself.
Dwight K. Schrute: Tricky Siskel spat a bit of wicked biscuit....
Latest Updates
The Goldbergs: Season 10 Quotes
We have added quotes from the final season of ABC's The Goldbergs, which recently ended after a ten-year run. Catch up with your favorite quotes from Adam, Beverly, Barry, Erica and Geoff in the tenth season.
Abbott Elementary: Season 2 Quotes
We have just added quotes from the second season of Abbott Elementary, the hit ABC sitcom which follows the over-worked and under-resourced staff of a predominantly Black public school in Philadelphia. Created by and starring Quinta Brunson, the show's ensemble cast includes Tyler James Williams, Janelle James, Lisa Ann Walter, Chris Perfetti, Sheryl Lee Ralph and William Stanford Davis.
Catch up with the latest quotes from the Abbott Elementary staff: Janine, Gregory, Ava, Melissa, Jacob, Barbara and Mr. Johnson.
The Goldbergs: Season 9 Quotes
We have added quotes from the ninth season of The Goldbergs, which recently concluded its ten-season run on ABC. Catch up with your favorite quotes from Adam, Beverly, Barry, Erica and Geoff in the penultimate season.
The Wonder Years Quotes
We have added quotes from the first season of ABC's The Wonder Years, inspired by the classic '80s series of the same name. The Wonder Years looks back at the life of a Black middle-class family in Montgomery, Alabama in the late '60s, as seen through the eyes of twelve-year-old Dean Williams. The show is narrated by Dean's adult self, voiced by Don Cheadle.The series stars Elisha "EJ" Williams, Dulé Hill, Saycon Sengbloh, Laura Kariuki, Julian Lerner, Amari O'Neil and Milan Ray.
Catch up with your favorite quotes from the Williams family: Dean, Bill, Lillian and Kim, along with Dean's friends Brad, Cory and Keisa.
Abbott Elementary Quotes
We have just added quotes from the first season of Abbott Elementary, the hit new ABC sitcom which follows the over-worked, under-resourced staff of a predominantly Black public school in Philadelphia. Created by and starring Quinta Brunson, Abbott Elementary's ensemble cast includes Tyler James Williams, Janelle James, Lisa Ann Walter, Chris Perfetti, Sheryl Lee Ralph and William Stanford Davis.
Catch up with your favorite quotes from the Willard R. Abbott Elementary staff: Janine, Gregory, Ava, Melissa, Jacob, Barbara and Mr. Johnson.