Pops: Come on. Let's go see Adam West on the big screen before your dad ruins it forever.
Adam: Actually, the new movie stars Michael Keaton.
Pops: The guy who plays Beetle-Buzz?
Adam: Beetlejuice.
Pops: Beetle-Jazz can't be Batm'n.

Beverly: Your finances are a mess.
Pops: Oh, please.
Beverly: You're late paying your bills, you've been forgetting to cash your checks, and you've made some very questionable investments.
Pops: I believe in that alpaca farm. The alpaca is the dog of the future.

Pops: Go to your room! [later:] I'm sorry I yelled and punished you.
Adam: Yeah, I hadn't seen that side of you before.
Pops: I just don't understand how you could say those things about Old Mother Hubbard. That's her dog, they're friends.

Pops: Ooh, look at you! It's Spider Guy, Strawberry Flapjacks, and, hey, it's Herman the Frog. Wokkity, Wokkity.
Kermit: Everything you're saying is wrong.

Pops: Batm'n.
Adam: Batman.
Pops: That's what I said. Batm'n.
Adam: No, you're saying "Batm'n." Listen. I'm Batman!
Pops: I'm Batm'n.
Adam: I'm Batman!
Pops: I'm Batm'n.
Adam: I'm Batman! I'm Batman!
Pops: I'm Batm'n.

Pops: This is not my fault. I had a necktie hanging on the door. When a necktie's on the door, the pants are on the floor. Everyone knows that.

Beverly: Are you kidding me? Who does he think he is, shaving and going to things? He's still a little boy.
Pops: You may not want to accept it, but Adam's basically a man. You know... Except for the body, voice, and toys.

Adam: I can't believe you did that for me.
Pops: It wasn't just for you, kiddo. As much as you miss the young Pops, I miss him, too.
Adam: Just so you know, I'm okay with just sorting coins. As long as I can be with you.
Pops: That's good. Because I'm not gonna be doing much moving for a while.
Adam: Do you remember the end of Cocoon, when all the older people leave Earth to go to that planet where they can be young forever? Would you take that deal?
Pops: And miss hanging with my best friend? Not a chance.
Adult Adam: [v.o.] Thanks to Pops, I picked up a thing or two over the years. Eventually, we all slow down. But it doesn't matter if you're growing older or growing up. The important thing is to appreciate the victories. In the end, every moment is worth savoring. And no matter what stage of life you're in, a fountain of youth will never be as magical as time spent with the ones you love.

Beverly: There's a famous saying... "If you love someone, never set them free."
Pops: That's not the saying. Murray, a little help?
Murray: Nah. Sounds like she's doing a thing.
Pops: Adam, who knows ladies better than me? I'm still scoring left and right. It's honestly too much.
Adam: Ew.
Pops: So much "ew." And how do I get all that sweet ew? Confidence! Let Brea Bee be. You can talk about the future when she gets back.
Adam: I'm going with Pops.
Beverly: Damn it, old man!
Pops: Really? Usually, people just pretend to listen to me and then do whatever they want.
Murray: I don't even do the listening part.
Adam: Pops, I trust you completely. When it comes to dames, you know your stuff.
Pops: [stands up] Look who's back, baby! [groans] I hurt my back.

Elaine: Beverly, we usually do classics or award winners. The point of book club is to enrich our minds.
Beverly: Put a sock in it, Elaine. Last week, you picked that suck-ass "Joy Luck Club."
Pops: Bevy, that book was a heart-wrenching masterpiece.
Beverly: Okay, what are you even doing here? This is a book club for ladies.
Pops: That's exactly why I'm here. Albert Solomon, book lover.