Lainey: This is bad. Real bad! They're closing in on us.
Beverly: Hold it together. They got nothing.
Lainey: There's bleach on my hands.

Lainey: Forgive me, Mrs. G., but Barry wants you to know, "Get out, you monster! Get out through that window right now!"

Lainey: Hey, sport. How you feeling?
Erica: Awful. Never felt so much like a Barry in my entire life.
Lainey: You do know he's my boyfriend and I love him, right?

Barry: Okay, fine. But you can't go to that school without me and surround yourself with all those fashion boys.
Lainey: Fashion boys?
Barry: Yeah, they're all stylish and tan and love dancing the night away with each other.
Lainey: I really don't think you have to worry about fashion boys.

Beverly: Hello, Lainey Lewis.
Lainey: Aah!
Beverly: Not a fan of seat belts, I see.
Lainey: I was just getting situated.
Beverly: We need to talk about your plans to drag my boy to the Deep South to become a fashionista.
Lainey: How is this on me? I've always supported his dreams, even when they've been highly questionable, like when he wanted to be a yo-yo champion or start a shelter for wayward lizards.

Barry: Oh, my God. What is on your body right now?
Lainey: Oh, this? Just my favorite Rangers jersey, sweats, hat, and scarf.
Barry: But they're the sworn enemy of the Broad Street Bullies. That's like saying New York is a better city than Philadelphia.
Lainey: Ooh. Honestly, it is.
Barry: Whoa, whoa. What are you saying?
Lainey: I guess I hate Philly.
Barry: What?
Lainey: And cheesesteaks.
Barry: (gasps)
Lainey: And Rocky Balboa.
Barry: No!
Lainey: I also hate rap and BMX biking and Macho Man Randy Savage, as well as Jean-Claude Van Damme.
Barry: You must've hit your head. You're not thinking straight.
Lainey: Speaking of stupid karate people, I also hate Chuck Norris, and Bruce Lee is a wuss.

Barry: Dude, how could you leave early and not tell me?
Lainey: I'll explain everything when the time is right, which is not now!
Barry: No! No way. Do not walk away from me.
Lainey: I'm not walking away. I'm slowly and deliberately marching to receive my diploma.

Erica: Dude, he is obsessed.
Lainey: [scoffs] So emotionally out of control. Gosh, I miss that cute, shouty, red face.

Erica: Are you and Barry together?
Lainey: No. Not really. I mean, kinda. He repulses me, but I'm still drawn to him.
Erica: Ew!
Lainey: I know! He's clumsy and annoying and has those big, brown eyes and cute dimples when he smiles.
Erica: Ew!
Lainey: I know!
Erica: Lainey, we're talking about my brother. This has to stop!
Lainey: I know!
Erica: Ew!
Lainey: I've tried, but I keep getting pulled back in. It's like he annoys me so much, I just want to kiss his stupid face.
Erica: Ew!
Lainey: I know!

Lainey: Come on, let us help you find someone. Go on, describe your perfect guy.
Erica: Well, he'd be a mysterious, handsome outsider with a trench coat, a sexy voice, and a thriving acting career where he plays the thinking girl's heart-throb.
Lainey: Dude, you're just describing Christian Slater. Seriously? You're a lost cause.