Erica: Okay, I'm only gonna do this once.
Barry: Come at me. [Erica punches Barry in the stomach] Oh! Ow! You're supposed to warn me! That's how Houdini died!

Barry: Last week, I accidentally went to economics class, and now I know everything about starting your own business using the laws of supply and da man.
Geoff: I'm pretty sure it's "demand."
Barry: Wrong, Geoffrey. It's when you ask da man what he wants and then you supply it.
Barry: Dad, what do you want?
Murray: To watch Cheers in peace.
Barry: Dad!
Murray: Uh... Sandwich from Lee's.
Barry: Boring! [scoffs] We'll ask another da man.

Naked Rob: You need drivers? I'm looking for a little extra cash.
Matt: Me too. I- I hate these shorts.
Andy: And I might be a drug mule, so I am in.
Geoff: I have employees!
Barry: And a president/CEO/visionary. Salary TBD, but likely TB a lot. First thought, we need a name.
Geoff: How 'bout "Food in a Geoffy"?
Barry: Not poppin'. How about "Barry Up and Get Your Food in a Geoffy: A Big Tasty Biz"?
Geoff: It's definitely longer.
Barry: Agreed. I'll order T-shirts.

Barry: What the hell?
Erica: I'm shutting this whole operation down. Barry, you're fired.
Barry: Fine! I'm taking my Zen garden as severance.

Barry: I'm joining a fraternity.
Erica: Ugh. Why?
Barry: Bros, babes, beer, and boat shoes!
Erica: Classism, hazing, dangerously excessive drinking.
Barry: Yeah, all of those awesome reasons.

Barry: [raps] We're the Frat Boys, not the Fat Boys, ya see And like the Fat Boys, we got one, two, three But the only cool guy up here is me So please let me be in your fraternity We came to party and rock the spot Yeah, I'm a frat boy, but these two are not Dave Kim's lame, and my brother is short They're mainly up here for moral support Why would I insult my crew? 'Cause that's just something that frat boys do I'm Beta Zeta material I eat emcees like cereal Cap'n Crunch or Frosted Flakes Or high-fiber bran to help me make We're the frat boys It's a play on words Like the Fat Boys, but these two are nerds We're the Frat Boys [talks] What do you say? Can I join sideways boobs Zorro slash?
Adam: I'm just a boy!
Dave Kim: You're handling me as if I'm resisting!

Adult Adam: [v.o.] Ah, "The Rocky Horror Picture Show". Back in the day, college kids loved watching this cult classic on Halloween, except for the one college kid who could never decide what movie to see.
Erica: Will you stop being a nightmare on this street and pick a Halloween movie already?
Barry: But it has to be perfect... one part scary, one part thriller-y, and no parts "Gremlins". Too many rules.
Geoff: But gremlins only have three rules... no bright lights, no water, and no feeding after midnight.
Barry: Oh, my God, boring Geoff. Every time you talk, I feel like I'm reading.
Erica: Speaking of, I'm off to the library... or what you like to call the book zoo.
Geoff: It's Halloween. Take a break from studying and see a movie with me.
Erica: Sorry, dude, but this conversation was my study break. Plus, watching Barry eat popcorn is the real horror show.

Barry: Make sure you cover every square inch of space on that board.
Matt: Trust me, Big Tasty, when I'm done, no one at this college will be able to find a dog sitter, guitar lessons, or the hotline to call when negative thoughts are taking over.
Andy: Hey, uh, just so we're clear, how long do I have to wear this heavy thing?
Barry: As long as it takes to catch the eye of everyone on campus. And you should be moving around more. Start jogging. Move those little legs.
Andy: You got it, Big Tasty. And you not saying thanks is thanks enough.
Barry: Naked Rob, where the hell is my skywriter?
Naked Rob: Nowhere, because it costs $3,000 and I'm still technically a boy.
Barry: Totally unacceptable.

Barry: An "F"? Uh [chuckles] I think you mean "D".
Professor Majors: I don't.
Barry: How did this happen?
Professor Majors: Did you study?
Barry: No, but a very prestigious school administrator said I needed a work/party balance.
Professor Majors: Did he also say that you will never become a doctor with grades like these?
Barry: But that's my dream. Why would he encourage my reckless lifestyle without highlighting the consequences?
Professor Majors: Well, if I were you, I'd drop everything else and start cramming for the next exam.
Barry: I'm hosting an epic rager for the ages tonight.
Professor Majors: "Rocky Horror"? What is this nonsense?
Barry: It's a movie about a mad scientist who's actually an alien cross-dresser who creates a muscle man in his lab.
Professor Majors: Just another offensive portrayal of a scientist. Why don't we ever hear about the well-adjusted scientist who pays his taxes and shows up consistently for his nephew Brandon? Why is this guy walking around in his undies?
Barry: That's Brad. He's a doof.
Professor Majors: You're a doof. [a student trips and drops her books] Damn it, Janet.

Adult Adam: [v.o.] While my mom lost her bid for captain, my brother and I were hoping to win big with our dad.
Barry: Father, out of respect for you and "Manimal," we waited for a commercial.
Adam: Indeed. But the most important event in human history, WrestleMania IV, is happening, and we humbly seek your help.
Barry: This request is merely financial.
Adam: And since you know we respect the enraging-yet-reasonable wrestling ban due to broken lamps and Barry's toe, which is healing ahead of schedule...
Barry: It is way not, but such is life.