Barry: I can't believe we're missing the greatest wrestling match in the history of humankind.
Adam: And I can't believe Dad just wanted to spend time with us.
Barry: It's not just that. He went to something he hated for us, and instead, we body-slammed his heart.
Hulk Hogan: [clears throat] I couldn't help, but overhear.
Barry: The Hulkster?
Adam: Hulk Hogan?
Hulk Hogan: Listen, brother.
Barry: He knows we're brothers.
Hulk Hogan: Your dad sounds like a pretty good father, brother.
Barry: No, he's our dad. We're brothers. I'm your biggest fan, but you sound like an idiot right now. [chuckles]
Hulk Hogan: Look, if your dad wants to make an effort, you should, too. You've only got one father, brother.
Adam: Whoa, he drops fools and knowledge!
Barry: I'm on it, Hulk! Thank you!
Hulk Hogan: Scram!

Adult Adam: [v.o.] It was Thanksgiving Day, 1980-something, and Barry and Erica were ready to be picked up for the short ride home.
Barry: [sighs] I'm dying. I haven't eaten in 17 hours.
Erica: I'm gonna regret asking. Why?
Barry: Just like the Pilgrims, I'm starving myself to maximize stomach space for the turkey bounty that lies ahead. Crack a history book.
Erica: If you were in Pilgrim times, you'd die immediately. Probably of some shoe-buckle mishap.
Barry: Or I'd win over the Indians by introducing them to the ultimate weapon... Nunchucks. Boom. Big Tasty's face on every totem pole.

Barry: Excuse me... Panam. Such an exotic name. Are you from the Orient?
Stewardess: Pan Am is the airline. I'm Elaine from here.
Barry: Please don't correct me, Elaine from here. It's an ugly color on you. Now, when can I expect meal service, huh?
Stewardess: I'm sorry, it's a 40-minute flight, so we won't even be coming by with the beverage cart.
Barry: What about peanuts?
Stewardess: This gentleman right here took the last bag.
Marvin: If you don't want me taking them, don't leave them in the back of the bottom drawer in the galley.

Adult Adam: [v.o.] Uncle Marvin's 15-minute drive had turned into a 12-hour layover in Nashville.
Marvin: Man! Music City's got it all. I mean, I know it's Thanksgiving and we're stuck in an airport hotel, but ( Scoffs ) who wants to go honky-tonkin'?
Erica: I want you to shut up. I'm calling home.
Barry: Oh, God. They're probably eating already. Tell Mom to pour gravy into the phone so I can taste it with my ears.
Marvin: Good thing I nabbed a little something from the maid's cart in the hallway to tide you over.
Barry: Oh! Oh, sweet, minty sustenance!

Erica: Well, I've never been robbed before.
Barry: I'm sorry I screamed so much.
Marvin: I can't believe he even took the Cobra matchstick from my lips. Now I just look like a fool.
Erica: Yeah, that's what did it.
Marvin: Hey, look on the bright side... He didn't want our turkey, okay? He only wanted our money and our watches and our IDs.
Barry: A warm ham is not gonna replace my go-kart license!

Adult Adam: [v.o.] After being "Planes, Trains and Automobiles."-ed by Uncle Marvin, Barry and Erica found themselves further from home than ever.
Barry: Look. There's a bus leaving for Philly in ten minutes.
Erica: Perfect. If only that guy hadn't stolen our wallets and your dignity.
Barry: Those were the tears of a warrior preparing to strike.

Adult Adam: [v.o.] It was December 4th, 1980-something. Barry and Erica were college roommates, and it was amazing... How little they got along.
Erica: You are an idiot! And I'm talking medically.
Barry: How dare you? I'm pre-med. I'd be the first to know if I was an idiot.
Erica: Then where are the car keys? 'Cause they're supposed to be on that hook right there.
Barry: Oh, you mean my back-scratchin' hook? Works better when the keys don't rip up my shoulder meat. [sighs] There you go. You did it, Hooky. You did it.

Adult Adam: [v.o.] Yep, they'd lived together their whole lives, but sharing a dorm room was a whole different story.
Barry: Did you eat my ramen?
Erica: Yeah. I didn't want to walk to the caf, so I snagged one of your hot and spicy beefs.
Barry: But that's my feast from the East!
Erica: And you should probably know that I also drained your last Mountain Dew.
Barry: My morning Dew? That's how I rev up for the day! Do you have any respect for society's norms?

Barry: Whoa! JTP, you do not have to listen to her.
Matt: Actually, Tasty, we do. It's the law of older siblings... They get the final say on everything.
Barry: That's not a law. I would know. Could've been the son of a lawyer.

Geoff: Guys, no punching... Asleep or otherwise. In here, you'll find clear instructions on how to share everything. Like the mini-fridge.
Barry: No way. I promised my perishables a safe haven.
Erica: You put your sheets in there.
Barry: You know I run hot!
Erica: It's the dead of winter, barfbag! You should really get your circulation checked.
Barry: Already did. It's a trouble area, like you.