Adam: Roomies! We can finally be roomies.
Pops: Kiddo, I don't want to cramp your style. What if you bring a girl back to the room?
Adam: We both know that's not going to happen.

Beverly: Look what you've got here. Nintardo.
Adam: What did you just call me?
Beverly: No. It's the thing you play all day long. Nintardo.
Adam: Oh my God, are you combining Nintendo and Atari into some horrible mom word?

Adam: Hey, what are you doing?
Erica: Destroying this and starting over.
Adam: But I gave you exactly what you asked for: macho. Your dad was a shirtless cowboy, a sweaty cop, a leather-clad biker. Oh, I see it now.

Adam: Why am I helping them move? My arms are built for Nintendo, not whatever you call this.
Beverly: Manual labor?

Adam: Okay, as you know, you've been mocking my changing voice for this entire year. But now that I'm going to high school, it's time for you to get out all your insults here and now so we can bring this hurtful chapter to a close.
Barry: You sound like a harmonica in a dryer.
Erica: You sound like the child of Louis Armstrong and Harvey Fierstein.
Barry: You sound like the Tin Man before he was oiled.
Erica: You sound like a witch gave a frog a voice.
Beverly: Stop it! His voice is perfect. He sounds like a beautiful angel with an undescended testicle.
Adam: I regret this.

Adam: There's two Adam Goldbergs. One of us uses an F to differentiate.

Adam: Wow. That was so cool.
Murray: Were we watching two different things?
Adam: You don't know Star Wars. This special is really for the true fan.
Murray: So, the true fan wants to watch Dorothy from The Golden Girls flirt with an alien?
Adam: Uh, okay, I admit it was an odd choice to have Bea Arthur manage the cantina. Let's just move on.
Murray: And what's the deal with Lumpy and Itchy?
Adam: Chewie's family had to be named something.
Murray: Lumpy and Itchy? Couldn't they have spent 15 more seconds on the names?
Adam: I don't know! And I don't know why Art Carney is a family friend or why Jefferson Starship is performing for the Empire.
Murray: Starship's in their name. That one actually makes sense to me.
Adam: Let's never speak of this again.

Murray: Hi. Uh, three tickets for the movie about the talking duck. You know, I only see one movie a year. This better be good.
Adam: It's George Lucas! I bet everyone in school's gonna see it. Well, except the other Adam Goldberg in 11th grade. He only goes to that cinema downtown that serves wine.

Adam: This must be what the other Adam Goldberg in school feels like all the time. He's a loose cannon and lives on his own terms.

Adam: So, you think I got what it takes?
Beverly: Squishie, you're so talented they should give you all the Oscars. Best Little Snuggle Goblin, Adam Goldberg.
Adam: Adam F. Goldberg. I don't want to get confused with the other Adam Goldberg in my school. He's got more of a Jim Jarmusch vibe, and I'm more of a Jim Varney.