Adam: What am I watching?!
Pops: Come on. The duck is like E.T. He just wants to go home.
Adam: Then how come he's spending so much time managing that band?
Murray: Al, the duck's gonna make it with that lady. What have you brought us to?
Pops: A family film. It's a family film.
Adam: I can't watch this anymore.
Murray: Well, then let's go.
Adam: Really? We can do that?
Murray: It's about time you learned that an adult can walk out of anything and demand his damn money back. I do it once a year. Let's go.
Pops: Adam, no! It's not that bad. A lady and a duck in bed? Who the [bleep] thought this was a good idea?

Adam: After I watched that "Star Wars" special, I've been re-evaluating all the things I loved as a child.
Pops: Don't do that.
Adam: All the movies I worship have come into question.
Pops: Don't do that.
Adam: "Short Circuit 2," "Time Bandits," and don't even get me started on "Jaws 4: The Revenge."
Pops: Stop right there. I know you love that movie.
Adam: Until now! Why would a shark swim from New England to The Bahamas to eat a lady who's husband killed his shark friend?
Pops: Sharks have feelings, too.
Adam: "This time, it's personal." How's that possible? It's a fish! Fish don't hold grudges.
Pops: Oh, so now you're a shark expert.

Adam: Wow. That was so cool.
Murray: Were we watching two different things?
Adam: You don't know "Star Wars." This special is really for the true fan.
Murray: So, the true fan wants to watch Dorothy from "The Golden Girls" flirt with an alien?
Adam: Uh, okay, I admit it was an odd choice to have Bea Arthur manage the cantina. Let's just move on.
Murray: And what's the deal with Lumpy and Itchy?
Adam: Chewie's family had to be named something.
Murray: Lumpy and Itchy? Couldn't they have spent 15 more seconds on the names?
Adam: I don't know! And I don't know why Art Carney is a family friend or why Jefferson Starship is performing for the Empire.
Murray: Starship's in their name. That one actually makes sense to me.
Adam: Let's never speak of this again.