Ken: How about Justine trying to sound Blacker when she talks to Black people?
Justine: Oh, that's how you gon' do me?

Waiter: Can I start you ladies off with some drinks, or...
Justine: No, we don't drink. Ha. Can you imagine? Glug, glug, glug, glug. [laughs] Oh, uh, white wine. Two ice cubes.

Justine: You know what should be in mythical? A man who knows where the G-spot is.
Mateo: Justine, contribute, or leave.
Marcus: It's the third time you've made that joke.

Glenn: Come on, you guys should know me by now. I never pressure you. So this is not my fault.
Justine: I felt pressured to buy cookies from your foster kids. And then someone in Tucson bought a Vespa with my credit card, and the bank said I had to prove that I wasn't in Tucson. How would I even do that?
Glenn: You take a picture of yourself with a newspaper not from Tucson.
Kelly: You made me take care of the tropical fish that you raised even though I can't afford the tank maintenance. I had to take out a loan.
Sandra: My sister was in labor, and you "needed" me to change your screensaver to flying toasters. She gave birth in her tub.
Glenn: Okay, okay. Okay, I... I am sorry, then. I'll never pressure you again.
Justine: Okay.
Sandra: Okay.
Justine: And it's like, why would I even want a Vespa? My vertigo was going crazy at the time. I had to sit down in the shower.

Justine: The only Spanish words I know are más tequila. Know what I mean? Ay, ay, ay!
Sandra: Oh, God.

Dina: Funny to think that it has genitals, right? It's like, I could have a stranger's tiny penis just whipping around inside me.
Justine: Sounds like my Saturday night. [chuckles] [all groan]

Dina: So let me know if any of these feel right to you. First up, me as a chef.
Justine: Yummers.
Dina: Firefighter.
Justine: Whoa, somebody call 9/11!
Dina: You mean 9-1-1?
Justine: I did.
Dina: You have to say "9-1-1."
Justine: Okay.

Cheyenne: She's like a rebel.
Justine: She's like a total badass bitch.
Mateo: Oh, my God, is Sandra an icon now?
Justine: She's like a total badass bitch.
Mateo: Heard it both times, thanks.

Justine: So I forgot to mention that Mateo is donating his liver to me. Because mine is completely destroyed. Give that vino to me-no.
Amy: Justine, get out.
Justine: Okay.

Justine: Best friend? Jeez! I'm so thrilled you thought of me.
Dina: You're just in the running, okay? And with you, I'm mostly interested in your ability to donate any organs I may need in the future.
Justine: Well, I hope you don't need a vagina, because I'll be using it. [Dina exhales deeply] Also, my kidneys aren't great.