Jonah: I... I mean, it's a mannequin of a Caucasian male. If that's what you see when you look at me, then maybe this is on you.
Garrett: Nah, nah, nah, it's more than that. It's the eyes...
Amy: Yeah.
Garrett: The nose...
Amy: Uh-huh.
Garrett: And there's something about that expression. It just kind of makes you want to...
Amy: Punch him in the face.
Garrett: A little bit.

Amy: My cousin Ricky started out shoplifting. Now he's bangin' out license plates in some prison trying to avoid a big guy named Crazy Eyes.
Julie: Crazy Eyes is a character in Orange Is the New Black.
Amy: Crazy Eyes is a character in every prison in America, ladrona puta.
Julie: Is she okay? I don't understand what's happening.
Amy: It's boxing.

Amy: [over PA] Attention Cloud 9 shoppers: We hope you're having a lovely day. If you have any questions or concerns, please find our lead salesman, Charles.
Jonah: Is there anything we should know about him?
Amy: He is in charge. [sings] ♪ Charles in charge ♪ ♪ Of our days ♪ ♪ And our nights ♪ ♪ Charles in charge ♪ ♪ Of our wrongs ♪ ♪ And our rights ♪ ♪ And I sing ♪ ♪ I want ♪ ♪ I want Charles in charge ♪ ♪ Of me ♪ [sighs] [sings in Spanish]

Amy: All right, I want a minimum of five employees in each zone, eight in Electronics, obviously in rolling, two-person pigeon teams. All RMDs need to have the right CPOs. We'll assimilate any dead stock for TKTs at the end of the day. Got it?
All: Got it.
Amy: Jonah, can you please be in charge of tracking the UPTs and logging them in the T7?
Jonah: Yes, I certainly can.
Amy: I just made that up. You're on spills and trash.
Jonah: Cool.
Amy: Okay, break.

Sandra: Who's that lady?
Jeff: Oh, that's Kelsey, from Cloud 9. She's the new SuperCloud mascot.
Amy: Why is a smiling white lady always the mascot? 'Cause in my experience, usually they're, like, the first to snap.
Dina: She's not wrong.
Garrett: I personally blame all the yogurt white ladies eat.

Amy: So that's why you didn't want me talking about people's love lives... because you had a little secret of your own.
Garrett: Okay.
Amy: Are we gonna get a destination wedding? Like, how many cute little Garrett-Dina babies are you gonna have? Garrett Junior?
Garrett: Hey, Dina, Amy went to go see Lego Batman yesterday.
Dina: [on the phone] I'm gonna have to call you back. [hangs up] What in the name of God is Lego Batman?

Glenn: On to something more important than a bunch of dumb bugs. Who's excited about awards season?
Amy: Um, Glenn, the Oscars were last month. I know that, because we had that Oscar pool. Wait, who won that again?
Jonah: I believe that was you.
Amy: Oh, yeah, that was me. It's all about the technical categories.
Jonah: Yep, you said that.

Amy: No, see, the thing is Party of Five showcased his boyish appeal, but it made it harder for him to get darker, more adult roles.
Jonah: I wonder what he's doing now.
Amy: He married Kelly from The Real World: New Orlenas. They live in Park City with their three kids.
Jonah: Whose names are...
Amy: How would I know? Jackson, Miller, and Lucy. [Jonah laughs] [dismisses a call from Adam] Okay, so who was your '90s crush?
Jonah: Alyssa Jayne Milano was born in Bensonhurst, Brooklyn...
Amy: [groans] Of course it was Alyssa Jayne Milano!
Jonah: ...in 1972.

Amy: I'm telling you, a little VapoRub on a Q-tip and...
Jonah: Again with the VapoRub.
Amy: It's a miracle drug!

Amy: No, you guys, I'm serious. I used to, like, shoplift bulk candy and, like, run, and one time I stole a car.
Marcus: Yeah. Okay.
Amy: No, you guys, I did. It was 10th grade. I took my math teacher's Kia, drove it to the Burger King, got some French toast sticks, and then I just left it there... like, bounced.
Mateo: The French toast sticks were a little too specific. But nice try.
Cheyenne: Yeah, you would never do that.
Amy: No, I did do that.