Turk: I'm the new Chief of Surgery, you know, and you're Dr. Cox's number two guy. I thought eventually we'd be running this place together.
J.D.: How cool would that be?
[fantasy: two nurses open the reception door as smartly-dressed J.D. and Turk eat dessert:]
Carla: I love how you two have kept everything in the hospital the same, you know, except for the free pudding.
Turk: [slaps bowl out of Carla's hand] Sorry baby, but the free pudding's for us.
J.D.: Turk, you made a mess. Let him out!
[The Janitor emerges from a cage]
J.D.: Janitor: Janitor eat? Janitor clean. Janitor only clean.
Janitor: [about a nurse] Eat?
Both: No!
Janitor: Clean?
Both: No!
[reality:]
J.D.: Pretty awesome.

J.D.: Okay, uh, I guess I'll just have to settle for handing over the ceremonial reins. Take the reins, please.
Dr. Cox: I don't want to.
J.D.: Take the reins.
Dr. Cox: I don't want the reins.
J.D.: Please, take the reins.
Dr. Cox: I'm not taking the reins.
Sunny: I can take the reins and just hold them for him.
J.D.: Feels like that'll work out for everyone. Here you go, they're heavy. This guy can pull.
Dr. Cox: No one's taking the reins.
J.D.: Well then, what am I gonna do with the reins? Reins are on the ground. Happy now?
Dr. Cox: Alright, children, tomorrow morning, I want you prepped on the endocrine system.
J.D.: At least let me pass of the torch.
Dr. Cox: Oh, for the love of God, disperse.
J.D.: [to a nurse] Can you hold this please? It's very hot.

J.D.: [v.o.] So maybe that's who Perry Ulysses Cox is. A gruff, insensitive teacher. And after everything we went through, if I'm still just another student to him, it doesn't mean I should be any less grateful.
J.D.: Thank you for everything, Dr. Cox.
Dr. Cox: Keep moving.
J.D.: [v.o.] I expected that.

J.D.: [v.o.] And who's to say this isn't what happens? Who can tell me that my fantasies won't come true, just this once?
Maintenance Worker: Good night.
J.D.: Good night.

Denise: Hey, Dr. Turk.
Turk: Not now, Denise.
J.D.: Turk!
Turk: I'm late. Gotta go.
["Guy Love" plays as J.D. and Turk run to each other, hugging on top of the "Winston University" logo]
J.D.: Mm. Mm. You smell like prison.
Denise: When was the last time you guys saw each other?
J.D.: This morning. We carpooled. But we haven't worked together in over a year. You know what I'd like to do now?
Denise: Is it go to Vermont and make this thing legal?
J.D.: Talk to the hand. Remember that?

J.D.: [high-pitched voice] Eagle! [normal voice] Oh, hey, Perry. I'm really looking forward to teaching with you. Onward. [high-pitched voice] Eagle!
Dr. Cox: Oh, good god.

Turk: So that's what you're going to wear to teach?
J.D.: I'll have you know this is the very jacket worn by Michelle Pfeiffer in Dangerous Minds. All I had to do was sew these elbow patches on and take the shoulder pads out.

J.D.: [v.o.] There's no better way to celebrate saving a life than pretending to like beer.
J.D.: Oh, sticky.
J.D.: [v.o.] Yep, I'm sitting between my best bud and my abusive father figure, watching my new favorite thing.
J.D.: Footballing!
J.D.: [v.o.] They're staring. Quick, talk like a jock!
J.D.: Sports grass is so lovely.
Dr. Cox: Here I thought we weren't bringing our wives this evening.
Turk: Speaking of which, Carla can't make it to the Owl Cats game this Friday. We have an extra ticket.
J.D.: I'm in! I'm in! I gotta see this sports grass in person.

Elliot: Okay, we gotta fix this tonight, because tomorrow night's birthing class, and Wednesday night is pregnancy sex.
J.D.: I'm really starting to enjoy that birthing class. All the grunting and heavy breathing and...
Elliot: You were the only one doing that.
J.D.: I was trying to get something going.

Elliot: Wait, what is that walkie-talkie? I told you to get a baby monitor.
J.D.: Oh, this? Better than a baby monitor. It's long distance.
Elliot: Where's the other one?
Turk: [over walkie-talkie] Jake Cobra. Come in, Jake Cobra.
J.D.: We've been compromised, Panther Claw.