Chandler: How can I not be upset? I finally fall in love with this fantastic woman and it turns out she wanted you first.
Joey: Yeah, for like a half an hour one night. Chandler, she wants you for the rest of her life. We look at you and we see you together, and it just it fits, you know? And you just know it's gonna last forever.
Chandler: That's what you should say.
Joey: What?
Chandler: When you're marrying us, that's what you should say.
Joey: Really? I could do it?
Chandler: I'd love you to do it.
Chandler: But those are the words. Those exact words.
Joey: Well, I don't remember exactly but it's pretty much about having and giving and sharing and receiving.

Joey: I play Dr. Drake Ramoray.
Sarah: I'm sorry. I don't own a TV.
Joey: You don't own a TV? What's all your furniture pointed at?

Monica: All right, Phoebe?
Phoebe: Okay, if I were omnipotent for a day, I would want world peace, no more hunger, good things for the rain forest. And bigger boobs.
Ross: Well, see, you took mine. Chandler, what about you?
Chandler: If I were omnipotent for a day, I'd make myself omnipotent forever.
Rachel: See, there's always one guy. "lf I had a wish, I'd wish for three more wishes."
Ross: Hey, Joey.
Chandler: Hey, buddy.
Monica: Hey, Joey. What would you do if you were omnipotent?
Joey: Probably kill myself.
Monica: Excuse me?
Joey: Hey, if little Joey's dead, then I got no reason to live, you know?
Ross: Joey, omnipotent.
Joey: You are? Ross, l'm sorry. I had no idea.

Chandler: Would you put that back on. Monica is going to be here any minute.
Joey: But it hurts my Joey's apple.
Chandler: Okay, for the last time, it's not named after each individual man.

Chandler: Well, here we are. Just a bunch of 30-year-olds.
Ross: Wow. Do you realize in 10 years we're gonna be 40?
Joey: Why, God? Why are you doing this to us?

Waiter: How was everything, sir?
Joey: Excellent. The shrew, in particular, was exquisite.
Waiter: Well, I hope you've got some room left.
Waiters: [singing] Happy birthday to you, Happy birthday to you, Happy birthday, dear-
Joey: Joey. Joey.
Waiters: Joey. Happy birthday to you.
Joey: This is the best birthday ever!

Joey: Think about it. You're 18, okay? She's 44. When you're 36, she's going to be 88.
Frank: What, you don't think I know that?

Joey: Well, remember when they got in that big fight and broke up and we were stuck in here all night with no food or anything? Well, when Ross said "Rachel" at the wedding, I figured it was going to happen again. So I hid this in here.
Monica: Candy bars, crossword puzzles-
Phoebe: Ooh, "Mad Libs"! Mine!
Chandler: Condoms?
Joey: Hey, you don't know how long we're going to be in here. We may have to re-populate the Earth.
Chandler: And condoms are the way to do that?

Ross: Laugh it up, but the joke's on you because we don't need to get divorced. Okay, we're just gonna get an annulment.
Joey: An annulment? Ross, I don't think surgery is the answer here.

Maitre 'D: I sincerely hope the rest of your party is returning.
Joey: No, just me. All alone. Dinner for six for one. Well, you boys are about to see something really special.