Erica: This is a total double standard.
Barry: No, it's not. Dad's just giving me special treatment because I'm a boy and you're not, so you lose.
Erica: That's the definition of a double standard, you idiot.

Erica: Everything you're saying is wrong. There's only one choice and it's Mondale.

Erica: Aww, is pudgy little Adam still too scared to make poo-poos now?

Adam: Wow, what's with the stool, honey?
Erica: Don't call me honey. It's weird.

Erica: What the hell is going on? Is Barry forcing you to be here?
Adam: No, I'm here by choice.
Erica: If you're in trouble, blink.

Erica: You use comedy as a defense mechanism, but that doesn't make you a funny person that people laugh with. It makes you a lame-o who people laugh at.

Beverly: Erica, please. There might be lightning outside.
Erica: Good. I would rather get struck by a bolt of red hot sky fire than cave to his stupid will.

Adult Adam: [v.o.] Every meal with the Goldbergs began the same. First, my dad would ravenously attack the bread basket, followed by this classic Mom response.
Beverly: No, Murray, no. One roll for you only. The same goes for the rest of you. I will not have you filling up on bread.
Geoff: What's with your mom and the rolls?
Erica: Her worst fear in life is that we'll fill up on bread, but she also can't let anything go to waste, so that's where her food purse comes in.
Geoff: Food what now?
Erica: It's a bottomless purse lined with foil.

Erica: You! Stop making out in my dad's chair. He lives there.

Murray: Did anyone call while I was out?
Erica: Yeah. I wrote it down on the pad.
Murray: Flurt Burtman? Who the hell's Flurt Burtman?
Erica: I don't know. He was talking all fast, 'cause it was important. Anyway, call him back.
Murray: Call who back?! If it's important, I need to know the actual name.
Erica: I don't know. I'm not invested, because it wasn't for me.
Murray: What the hell's this message? "PP"?
Erica: Oh, Barry wrote that. My guess is he either drank too much Mr. Pibb or Pop-Pop called?
Murray: Wait. My dad called? He never uses the phone. He always thinks the Cubans are listening.
Erica: Oh, he calls all the time. He just says, "Tell the moron I'll call him back." Oh, so this is me giving you those dozens of messages.