Erica: I know! Doing this stuff just makes me feel so stupid.
Geoff: That's the whole point. You're supposed to be vulnerable for the person you love!
Lou Schwartz: Geoff! Come down and push her out!
Erica: It's fine. I got it. Oh, no! No! No! No!
Lou Schwartz: My Peugeot!
Geoff: Dad's Peugeot!
Erica: I am so sorry. I'll pay to fix it.
Lou Schwartz: You got to order the parts from France! It's a whole thing!

Erica: I am not a poser, okay. You're the one that pretends to be a rapper and a karate master.

Erica: I never should've made up Parents Thursday. Not to mention the whole "lost at sea" thing.
Beverly: That was a nice touch.
Erica: Look, it took me a long time to make my first college friend, and I was worried you'd scare her off.
Beverly: Scare her off?
Erica: You can be... overwhelming.
Barry: Pinball! Pinball! Pinball! Yes!
Erica: Damn it, Barry.
Beverly: I'm taking the pinball away. [to Erica] I know, but you not wanting me in your life is the worst pain a mama can have.
Erica: I'm sorry. And the truth is, I love how much you care, even if sometimes it's a lot.
Beverly: Really?
Erica: More than you know.

Erica: Excuse me? Um, are we at the right hotel? Moccasins: Camaica?
Lon MacDowell: Welcome! That smell is not the ocean! [chuckles]
Erica: But it doesn't look like the pictures in the brochure.
Lon MacDowell: Well, that's because those were architectural renderings, which we ignored.
Ren: It's fine. Could you please just show us to our... Oh, God! Is that a snake?!
Lon MacDowell: Probably. This hotel's named Moccasins because of all the water moccasins.
Geoff: I thought it was named for the comfy shoe?
Lon MacDowell: Nope. Anyway, there is a complimentary machete in every room.
Erica: I'm gonna be sick.
Geoff: Come on, Erica. It's... It's rustic and cute and damp and something just dripped in my mouth!
Erica: [gags] No, I'm literally gonna be sick.
Geoff: Oh, I told her not to have the shrimp cocktail on that discount airline!

Beverly: It's important for you to have the knowledge that your grandmother had and her grandmother had before her.
Erica: Yeah, well, I'll hire a maid who has that knowledge. Until then, I have some maxing and relaxing to do.