Adam: Hey, guys, any interest in supporting athletics kinda?
Dave Kim: You seriously think we'd pick a non-sanctioned barbecue over soaring through the 8-bit skies with Mario?
Adam: He can fly in this one? [to the jocks] Any interest in playing a video game starring an Italian plumber?
JC Spink: Does it have extreme violence and/or extreme nudity?
Dave Kim: You can throw a turtle.
JC Spink: No, thank you. Turtles are God's creatures.

Adam: And it's time for phase two. How about that Terminator? Pretty cool, right?
Brian Walls: Schwarzenegger rules.
Dave Kim: I have a Terminator bedspread.
JC Spink: Nice, Bird Guy. From now on, I'm gonna call you "Bedspread."
Adam: It's working!
Brian Corbett: You know, I like Arnold's muscles. They remind me of my muscles.
Brian Walls: I like the theme of the movie... Explosions.
Matthew: You think the theme of Terminator is explosions?
JC Spink: And sending your dad back in time to bone your mom.
Dave Kim: The theme is that everybody has the ability to defeat their own fate.
Brian Walls: Don't tell me how to interpret narrative motifs.

Ms. Cinoman: Spread the word. I still need to find someone amazing to play George's wife and the other couple.
Dave Kim: Can we re-audition?
Ms. Cinoman: The producers are going in a different direction, towards talent.
Dave Kim: I clearly heard that.
Ms. Cinoman: Well, then make sure the rest of these duds know.

Adult Adam: It was May 5th, 1980-something, and my best friend, Dave Kim, and I were about to get life-changing news.
Brian: Madman Ad-man!
JC Spink: Radical Ad-ical!
Dave Kim: You guys have cool nicknames for ol' Dave Kim?
JC Spink: Hmm. How about Buttface? [laughs]
Brian: Backing off that, I like Buttbreath for you.
JC Spink: Oh, love it! But we called someone Buttbreath last year. Maybe we go with Buttbrain.
Brian: I like the internal alliteration, but a-are we married to the whole butt area? Because Asshat is right there.
JC Spink: Took us a while, but we got it. You're Asshat.
Dave Kim: Thank you.

Dave Kim: What's up with your face? It's the same smile you had when you fell in that puppy pit in 5th grade.
Adam: There's not a man alive who wouldn't love that many little tongues. And I'm excited about this weekend.
Dave Kim: So you heard about it, too? Mega Twister's finally here.
Adam: Twister? Oh, no, thanks. My mom says that's a gateway game to having babies.
Dave Kim: Mega Twister... the new coaster at White Swan Park. I heard it killed three people in testing.
Adam: As much fun as possibly falling out of the sky in Pittsburgh sounds, I think you're forgetting prom is this Friday.
Dave Kim: I didn't forget. But as I don't have a date, I think you know what that means.
Adam: Is that our friendship pact?
Dave Kim: Indeed. This states that if one of us doesn't have a prom date, the other will stand by him in "lonesome solidarity".
Adam: I was being a boy, not signing a mortgage. And what about Brea?
Dave Kim: You're always going on about how understanding she is. She'll get it. We're gonna eat churros and do a loop-de-loop!

Adult Adam: [v.o.] My mom thought she had driven Paula Hogan away. Meanwhile, Brea and I were still waiting for our ride.
Adam: Ah, there. Our chariot arrives.
Dave Kim: What's up, fools?! It's prom!
Adam: Dave Kim? I didn't know you were gonna be in our limo.
Dave Kim: Funny story... Corbett, JC, and their gal pals swung by to pick Sydney and I up, and now there's no room.
Adam: I hired the limo.
Dave Kim: Thanks for that! See you guys there! Step on it, Tim! My lady likes the wind in her hair.

Adult Adam: [v.o.] So, it was a rocky start. Good news was, prom could only get better from here. Or so I thought.
Dave Kim: Look who finally made it... Mr. No Limo.
Adam: That's really clever, and at my expense, for some reason.
Dave Kim: Drama. I guess someone's upset we're wearing the same thing.
Adam: It's a tuxedo, Dave Kim. We're all wearing the same thing.
Dave Kim: Woof. Someone's obsessed with me. [laughter]
Adam: You're lucky to even be here tonight, Dave Kim.
Dave Kim: Yikes. You're clearly jealous 'cause you're not King Nerd anymore.
Adam: "King Nerd"?
Dave Kim: Another socially challenged gent landed a smokeshow, and you can't handle the new power dynamic.
Adam: You didn't "land" Sydney. I paid her to ask you to prom! [music stops]
Johnny Atkins: Whoa. That's as cold as these berry parfaits.
Mr. Woodburn: Hey! Food backpack? Nice.

Dave Kim: [enters] Huge news!
Adam: Carrie Fisher said yes to your prom-posal and now you have to find a Han Solo-themed tuxedo?
Dave Kim: Better! As you know, I've been struggling to decide between my college acceptances.
Barry: Bragging is a form of bullying.
Dave Kim: But after taking into account who I could be going to college with...
Adam: Don't tease me, Dave Kim!
Dave Kim: I'm going to NYU, baby!

Adult Adam: [v.o.] As my mom vowed to defend her empire, it was time for me to hit Dave Kim with some bad news.
Adam: Yo, yo! DK in the place to be! I was thinking, you know what would be way cooler than us living together? Not living together.
Dave Kim: What?
Adam: Clearly, we both agree that being roommates would be ideal. But then again, not being roommates... even more ideal!
Dave Kim: Where is this coming from?
Adam: Me.
Dave Kim: I know who did this.

Dave Kim: Hey, Adam. Or should I say roommate?
Adam: Seriously?! You mean it?
Dave Kim: I do.
Adam: Thank you, Dave Kim. I can't imagine going to college without my best friend.