Adam: Whoa! Is your roommate a DJ?
Dave Kim: Those turntables are mine. You know how I like to drop a funky beat every so often.
Adam: Like when you play the French horn?
Dave Kim: Oh, my God! Shared history! Hilarious. Let me introduce you to the gang. Tamsin, Brett, Fitz, meet Adam F. Goldberg.

Adam: What's going on with you? You love popcorn movies.
Dave Kim: I've expanded my horizons. That's what you do in college.
Adam: Oh, like your little DJ setup?
Dave Kim: I'll have you know I'm the most sought-after MC on the third floor of the west annex of Hayden dorm.
Brett: DKNY is being modest. He's quite the impresario.
Adam: Impresario?
Fitz: He means DKNY throws the best parties.
Adam: I get it. Some classic Fitz irony.
Tamsin: He's serious. DKNY is a modern-day Gatsby.
Dave Kim: What can I say? I'm the straw that stirs the drink. [laughter] [glasses clink]
Adam: So you're saying you could throw a party anytime anywhere?
Dave Kim: Anyway. Anyhow.
Adam: Then what a better time than this weekend? I'd love to go to an epic DKNY Halloween bash. Unless, of course, you can't pull it together in time.
Dave Kim: Oh, I'll pull it together. I'll pull it together and cement my reputation as NYU's burgeoning bon vivant.
Tamsin: [chanting] Bon vivant! [others join in] Bon vivant! Bon vivant!
Adam: Stop that! That's not something people chant!

Adam: You know what's great about no one being here? Plenty of room to dance.
Dave Kim: Sure. Ha ha. But it's still early.
Adam: Still early to hit the streets and trick-or-treat like old times?
Dave Kim: DKNY will wait it out.
Adam: DKNY? Ugh. Just drop the act already! You're not an international impresario. You're just my dorky friend from Jenkintown.
Dave Kim: I was your dorky friend from Jenkintown. I've changed. That's what happens when you go to college. But you wouldn't know that, would you?
Adam: Please! You're just a big fat phony!
Tamsin: [American accent] Hey! Not cool, man! People are allowed to change.
Adam: What happened to your British accent?
Tamsin: Oh, I'm actually from Tucson. I just thought it would make me sound more interesting.
Fitz: And I only recently learned the definition of irony. I can admit, I abuse the word.
Brett: I know it seems like I rage against the machine, but that's only because I'm part of it. My dad owns 11 White Castles.
Adam: Oh, my God! You're all phonies!
Dave Kim: There's nothing phony about a fresh start. I was excited to share my new life with you, but you just want me to be the same loser from high school. Congrats, Adam. You won.

Dave Kim: Adam, may I cast you in the role of Silly Larry?
Adam: Amadoofus's jealous rival?
Dave Kim: You're the only person I know who could bring the character to life. [piano music plays]
Adam: But of course.
Geoff: Whoa. Things just got weirdly tense. You creative types are such a mystery to me.

Adult Adam: [v.o.] Meanwhile, it was time for Dave Kim's first table read.
Dave Kim: Amadoofus's wife enters the hospital room to find Silly Larry on his death bed.
Adam: My crime is jealousy. [Dave Kim mouthing line] Amadoofus was the genius I wish I was. But wait! Something stirs within me.
Dave Kim: Just then, Silly Larry lets out an impossibly long and melodic fart, then keels over and dies.
Brea: He finally composed a song worthy of admiration. With his butt.
Dave Kim: And... scene.
Brian Walls: Maestro. That was sublime. And I'm not completely sure what sublime means.
Dave Kim: Fun collab, gang! I'll be in my trailer, which is your room. No disturbances as I rest my big brain.

Adult Adam: [v.o.] Just like that, I used the ultimate weapon to destroy Dave Kim... Dave Kim.
Adam: Hilarious! If I weren't too busy typing, I'd be laughing. [time lapse] I just hope there's more. [keyboard clacking]
Dave Kim: Yes, more! Much more! All the precious words! [time lapse] I'm envisioning a comedic nightmare where Silly Larry's butt grows to the size of a beach ball.
Adam: You'll need a special pair of pants. I'll go get my mom's sewing machine. [time lapse] [sewing machine whirrs]
Barry: Ugh. Dave Kim. This is a terrible dream.
Adam: Shh! Let the genius work.
Dave Kim: Perfect! I'm perfect!