Dr. Cox: Nice hat. Does it come in a human size?
Jordan: Shut up.

Jordan: Hey, everything I do is more fun if you're doing it with me.
Dr. Cox: Was that so hard?
Jordan: Yes.
Dr. Cox: Oh, really?
[Dr. Cox lifts Jordan up and carries her to the pool]
Jordan: What are you doing? What are you doing? Don't! Don't!
Dr. Cox: I love you.
Jordan: I love you.

J.D.: So anyway, I start at St. Vincent's at the end of the month.
Jordan: What are you doing with Vincent? I wasn't listening.
J.D.: Never mind.
Jordan: Vincent's my hairdresser.

Jordan: Ted, come here. I need to be horrible to someone. Well, that's weird, that you came.
Ted: Ah, you seem like you need it. I'm super-sensitive about my skin today. Focus on that.
Jordan: It looks really blotchy.
Ted: Yeah, and check this thing out.
Jordan: Did you pick that?
Ted: No, it did it by itself!
Jordan: I want to touch it, but I don't!

Dr. Donna: It's important to stay positive.
Jordan: Get me an epidural before I rip your teeth out!
Dr. Donna: Okey-dokey.

Janitor: OK, either the heat in my office is broken or I drifted off and fantasized about Rudy Giuliani again.
Turk: [laughs] He's not even sexy! Right, baby?
Carla: Rudy, don't stop.
Turk: Baby!
Jordan: Relax, she's only fantasizing 'cause you don't satisfy her.