J.D.: What's up, Blaquaman?
Turk: I think I just saw a mermaid.
J.D.: Maybe you just spooked it. Oh, cute looking eel.
Turk: No, I'm naked.
J.D.: Alright, that's you.
Turk: I was supposed to meet Carla out here for a little "surf and Turk". Took off my swim trunks. These bad boys just floated away.
J.D.: Elliot's mad at me because I didn't say "I love you" right. You know what? That eel is looking at me funny, I'm gonna switch over here.
Turk: Yeah, he's got a mind of his own.

Janitor: If I'm gonna have a ceremony, I just need a little help. Go sunscreen up again and call an emergency meeting of the Brain Trust. Island style. Where's Todd?
Ted: Last time I saw him, he was stuffing seaweed into his bathing suit.
Janitor: Sure. Where's Doug?
Ted: Oh, no! I forgot to give him his invite.
[meanwhile, back at the hospital:]
Doug: He's getting married and he didn't invite any of us? Oh come on! And carrying around your invitation is just stupid! You look stupid!

Janitor: Alright. Welcome to the 2nd international meeting of the Brain Trust. I'll begin this as I began the meeting six years ago in Guatemala. I'm getting married tomorrow. And I need help. Ted, you're in charge of location and music. Todd, you are in charge of locating a Justice of the Peace and finding a sea turtle to serve as a ring bearer. Any questions?
Todd: [rubs celery stick on Ted's nose and eats it] Yeah. Who is this dude?
Janitor: That is Ira. As per our bylaws, the Brain Trust must always have a fourth. Plus he can speak to dolphins. Or so he says.
Ira: Drink. Drink.
Janitor: The man's a born leader.
Ira: Drink!
Janitor: You know what? Let's-
Ira: Drink, damn it!