Matt: When we first heard you were doing something nontraditional, we were like, "What?"
Andy: Yeah, but then we realized we're single men. We can do unspeakable acts any time we want.
Naked Rob: Oh, big time. I am just one bad choice away from ruining my life and many others.
Geoff: Well, why don't you dip your toes in these rough waters and try this crudites plate?
Matt: [laughs] Oh, carrot crazy.

Barry: But do they have what I have?
Naked Rob: An exaggerated sense of self-worth?
Matt: A big toe with a really small nail?
Andy: I- [sighs] I was going to say the nail thing.
Barry: Barry magic. [chuckles]

Matt: Can you take a look at this mole on my neck?
Barry: She's not a doctor-to-be. I am.
Matt: Yeah, yeah, yeah, but she clearly has a knack for this sorta thing. What do you think? Should I be worried?
Erica: Honestly, yes.
Matt: I'm scared, but it's good to know.

Barry: Wow! All truly terrible examples. You're no longer leading this crucial meeting, Adam.
Adam: I wasn't sure why we were here until now, so that's fine.
Barry: JTP, tell us how to become good uncles.
Matt: My Uncle Phil calls me cool nicknames like "Sport," "Champ," and "Superstar." It's possible he doesn't know my name.

Matt: Whoo! Let's fight a boulder and karate chop a tank!
Adam: Matt, stop chugging Jolt colas.
Matt: Can't! I could do this all day, bro!
Taz: Yo, Adam, I think your Indy clearly has a major sugar problem.

Matt: I guess I could do whatever job a handsome, charismatic guy with a camera-friendly smile would do. You tell me.
Adam: Actually, I'm looking for my Indiana Jones.
Matt: Me?! I never would've thought of that. [puts on a fedora]

Murray: What's happening with your head?
Barry: I'm a punk now. Deal with it, you corporate shill.
Murray: [groans]
Barry: That's how punks talk to authority, right?
Matt: No. [laughs] I got a lot to learn.

Barry: This is all your fault, Matt Bradley. Wait, what are you wearing?
Matt: Yeah, watching you try too hard to be punk made me realize I need to mellow out. That's why I'm a Deadhead now.
Barry: The Grateful Dead is the opposite of punk.
Matt: For sure. If you ask me, you guys need a chill member of the JTP.
All: JTP.

Barry: Slushee chug. No mere mortal can ingest an extra-large-
Matt: Done! Aah! My head! But worth it!

Barry: Riddles and trivia. A body is found in a locked room-
Matt: Is the weapon an ice knife?
Barry: Damn it!