Beverly: So we're gonna take one last unforgettable family vacation before everybody starts the next big chapter in their lives! What do you say?
Pops: We love you, but pass.
Beverly: You're gonna pass on a trip to Disneyland?
Adam: Oh, balls!
Erica: I love you now!
Beverly: Ah, that's right! Embrace your mama!
Adam: Star Wars just opened a ride there! It's called "Star Tours"! You get to travel to the forest moon of Endor!
Beverly: Well, I "Endor" you. Boop!
Adam: Even you can't ruin this. Star Wars teaming up with Disney is just so big! Sure, I wish they'd dedicate a whole land to Star Wars, but that's just a little boy's dream!

Adam: Yeah, you keep calling yourself a college man, but come next week, you're in for a rude awakening.
Barry: What's that supposed to mean?
Adam: It means you might be in college, but you're just gonna be a lowly freshman, totally starting from scratch socially.
Barry: Have you not seen the work I've been doing on my thighs? College is gonna love me.
Adam: Or the safety of the only world you've known will have vanished, and you'll discover that there's no place for an emotionally out-of-control doof with a thigh device.
Barry: What?! I am not an emotionally out-of-control doof! You are!
Beverly: Adam, quit working your brother up. He's gonna strain his groin.

Dana: Adam?
Adam: Yep. And former Genesis front man Peter Gabriel. Damn it. Batteries. Okay, imagine In Your Eyes is playing as I present to you... Laser tag.
Dana: Is that the baby we took care of?
Adam: "Hi, Mommy. I wuv you." Okay, that's weird.
Dana: All of this is weird. Why is it happening? Eh... You know what? Hang on. I'll be right out.
Adam: Oh, no. Stay put. I come to you via trellis.
Adult Adam: [v.o.] This was it. Just like old times, I'd climb Dana's trellis for an epic romantic gesture. It was my second chance at love, and I was sure it would be twice as magical.
Adam: Dana Caldwell, would you... Uh-oh. Ahh!
Dana: Adam!
Adult Adam: [v.o.] Unfortunately, I didn't realize I was twice as big.

Adam: I gotta get my mom off my back.
Dana: Well, you could help her find a hobby to distract her. Maybe a bowling league?
Adam: My mom's currently in a legal matter with Jenkintown Lanes, and that's all I'm allowed to say.

Adult Adam: [v.o.] While Food in a Geoffy took over Geoffy's life, my mom-written paper would surely save mine.
Mr. Woodburn: Meh!
Adam: A C? What the hell, man?
Mr. Woodburn: Yeah, just like your haircut, super mediocre.
Adam: But this makes no sense.
Mr. Woodburn: Believe me, that C on your paper is the only thing that was accurate. You referred to Justice O'Connor as Sandy, Sally, Shawna, Shonda, and one time, Tiffany!
Adam: Wow. Yeah. Seems like the most cursory once-over would've caught that.

Principal Ball: Adam's suspended for two weeks.
Adam: Balls!
Principal Ball: This is a terrifyingly bad paper, especially from an adult.
Beverly: Unacceptable, Earl. Don't take it out on Adam just 'cause you need to stand by your motley crew of burnouts and sad sacks!
Mr. Woodburn: Oh, no. You called me what I am.
Adam: Principal Ball, please! Two weeks at home? Just the two of us? The time does not fit the crime!

Adult Adam: [v.o.] The '80s sparked some of the most iconic couples ever! From Loni and Burt to Goldie and Kurt, if you acted together, you usually ended up together. And since my ex, Dana, had come back into my life, I secretly hoped the fall play would rekindle our romance.
Ms. Cinoman: Ladies and lords, hold on to your Tudor caps. Romeo and Juliet!
Adam: Yes! It's West Side Story without the fun music or Latino gangs.

Beverly: Somebody slashed my art.
Adult Adam: [v.o.] Yep, this 100% really happened.
Adam: You know what that means, don't you? We have a ghost, and that ghost hates butts.
Murray: Stop! There's no such thing as ghosts!
Adam: Of course there is! There's Large Marge from Pee-wee's Big Adventure, the poltergeist from Poltergeist, and Blinky, Inky, Pinky, and Clyde from Pac-Man.
Beverly: Those are some very compelling examples, Murray.
Murray: Examples of things that aren't real.
Adam: It's obviously a spirit with unfinished business trapped in the realm of the living.
Beverly: Obviously.

Beverly: Adam, we have to get to the bottom of this.
Adam: On it! You got the fear, I got the gear.
Adult Adam: [v.o.] We were haunted, probably, which finally gave me reason to say this.
Adam: I ain't afraid of no ghost. I mean, a little, but let's do this.

Adam: Plus, he makes Dad absolutely miserable. It's gonna be another Angst-giving.
Beverly: Angst-giving?
Adam: It's clever wordplay. I'm super proud of it, even though it's gonna be a living nightmare for everyone.