Haley: Can we do it earlier? I have a midterm tomorrow.
Dylan: Oh, I can't do earlier. I've got to meet up with some classmates from nursing school.
Haley: You're gonna be a nurse?
Dylan: Yeah, I figured it was a natural next step. I've always healed people with my music, and now I'm just doing the same thing with drugs.
Haley: .Well, ye-- another time, then.
Dylan: Yeah.
Haley: Yeah.
Dylan: Hey, if everything goes well, maybe one day I'll see you in the hospital.
Haley: I'd like that.

Phil: Dylan!
Dylan: Hello, Dunphy family!
Phil: What the what? How you doing, buddy?
Dylan: Oh, life's a roller coaster, but I'm tall enough to ride.
Phil: True dat.

Haley: Wow, that is such a cool idea. It's so good to see you.
Dylan: Do you want to get some coffee sometime?
Haley: I'm not doing anything right now.
Claire: Uh, movie.
Dylan: Nice try, but not all "V" words work, Mrs. D.

Dylan: Morning, Dunphys. Oh, still no ducks, huh? Fascinating creatures. I just read a book about them.
Claire: You did?
Haley: Yes, mom. Dylan reads.
Dylan: It was my nephew's book. It was about a duck and a penguin who go on vacation together. You could touch the duck's fuzz.
Haley: Bloop-bloop!
Dylan: That's the sound she makes when she wants me to fast-forward.
Phil: I feel you, money. Claire does the same thing to me. I think it started when I was inventing that new dental floss.
Claire: Bloop-bloop-bloop-bloop!
Dylan: So, the book said ducklings imprint on their mom as soon as they're born. Their brains are so small, they just latch on to something and follow it around as a way to find food. Yum.

Haley: Guess who I found driving through the neighborhood who insisted on stopping over to say hi with his new wife and her kids!
Dylan: It was me! Dylan. You know, from before?
Phil & Claire: Yeah.

Andy: So, who is the lucky guy?
Haley: Well, it's a bit of a mess right now, but, um, he is a professor and an astrophysicist. He's a a legit genius.
Dylan: Haley! I came as soon as I heard. Actually, that's not true. I stopped for tacos.
Haley: Not him.

Haley: Dylan, I'm sorry you got called.
Dylan: Well, maybe you didn't delete me from your phone because you didn't delete me from your heart.
Haley: Or I just forgot.
Dylan: [scoffs] Right. I'm married, Haley, and we're monotonous. You got to move on.

Dylan: [opening door] Haley. I had a feeling it was gonna be you.
Haley: You buzzed me in the gate.

Haley: Listen, I need you to know that that kiss never should have happened. Arvin and I are together, and you and I are friends, and that's all we're ever going to be.
Dylan: No, thank you.
Haley: "No, thank you"? I didn't ask you a question.
Dylan: Well, let me ask you one. It's been 10 years, and I can't move on from you.
Haley: Also not a question.

Phil: Look, Dylan...
Dylan: No explanation necessary, Mr. D. If you had to rough me up and take me hostage, I'm sure you had your reasons.