Woody: Hey, look, here's my wallet. I left this thing up here six months ago. See, I never even thought to look up there. All right, I can drive again!

Woody: Hey, Dr. Crane. Look what I got.
Frasier: That's quite a trophy, Woody. I didn't know you played golf.
Woody: I don't. There's a trophy shop down the street.
Frasier: You just bought this trophy? You don't even golf?
Woody: Why should l?
Frasier: Well, because the idea of a trophy is to show some sort of accomplishment. You should learn to golf. Go out, take a couple of lessons. Spend some hours mastering the finer points of the game.
Woody: And then?
Frasier: Well, then you get better and you can join a country club.
Woody: And then?
Frasier: Well, and then you can compete. Maybe enter some tournaments.
Woody: And then?
Frasier: And maybe some day, you'll be the best and you'll win, and then you'll get a...
Woody: A trophy, Dr. Crane?
Frasier: Congratulations, Woody.

Matt: Oh, Sam, we'd like you to be a pallbearer.
Sam: Well, why me? I mean, Gary hated me.
Matt: It's a shame you never knew how much he thought of you, Sam. He thrived on your competition. You brought him life.
Woody: Then you took it away.

Woody: Look at you. I can't believe it.
Beth: I can't believe it either.
Woody: You know, in high school, we were voted the couple most likely to explode.

Woody: You know, I plan on leavin' somethin' behind for the world to remember me by.
Norm: Yeah?
Woody: And here it is. [pours a cocktail]
Norm: It's a glass of Windex, Woody.
Woody: No, it's a drink. And Woody Boyd is going to become the next Jim Sheehan.
Norm: Who?
Woody: Certainly you've heard of the inventor of the Fish House Punch?
Norm: I can't say we have, Wood, but then again, we don't get out that much, you know?
Woody: Well, I'm callin' mine the Blue Boyd of Happiness.

Norm: Hey, wow, Sammy!
Sam: Woody, Woody, Woody, jump up there and fix the TV. again, will you? [patrons complaining]
Norm: Whoa, whoa! Perfect, Perfect! Don't move!
Cliff: Oh, wait a second, Woody, uh, just a just a minor adjustment.
Sam: That's it!
Woody: Oh, I sure hope this game doesn't go into overtime.

Woody: Hey, that's Miss Chambers.
Sam: Oh, boy.
Woody: Why is she hopping around like that?
Frasier: Well, she's dancing, Woody.
Woody: Get out!

Frasier: Being laughed at is going to be the least of Diane's worries. If she ever reads this analysis, she's going to be shattered. Take a look at this thing.
Sam: Oh, boy. "Poor, poor, poor, terrible"
Woody: Ooh, how was her attendance?

Woody: [answers phone] Cheers. Oh, yeah, she is. Miss Howe, Mr. Drake.
Rebecca: Mr. Drake? I wonder what he's calling about. Woody, how did he sound? Happy, mad, pleasant, annoyed?
Woody: Well, he sounds kind of weird. Like an old woman with a lisp and a thick German accent.
Rebecca: Woody, that's his secretary.
Woody: Oh, well, then she sounded pretty happy.

Kelly: Look, I'm really sorry. When I get miffed, the adrenaline just goes crazy.
Woody: Kelly, I didn't tell you about the play because I thought you might be uncomfortable seeing me kiss and hug another woman.
Kelly: Come on, Woody. I've seen plays before. I can't believe you didn't trust me enough to understand.
Woody: I didn't want to take the chance of something coming in-between us. You're my girlfriend. I love you, Kelly.
Emily: Why can't you say it to me like that?
Woody: Well, I don't love you; I love Kelly.
Emily: Can't you pretend I'm Kelly?
Woody: Would that be OK, Kelly?
Kelly: Well, all right. But just for the play.