Adult Adam: [v.o.] Back in the '80s, you couldn't just book a vacation on the Internet. Nope. The only way to get away was with the help of a pro... a travel agent.
John Calabasas: Excuse me, gentlemen, would you know where I can find the party people on this campus?
Andy: Maybe the geology building?
Naked Rob: Over at that dorm that looks like a motel?
Barry: JTP, get your act together. We are the party people on campus.
Andy: I did just go to my niece's fourth b‐day party, so I guess it's technically true.
Naked Rob: Shayna's four? Where does the time go?

Barry: I'm talking about Ren and Lainey.
Andy: Big Tasty, we've been over this. Lainey went to LA to be a rock star.
Naked Rob: I heard she's in that Robert Palmer video where he apologizes to women for turning them on.

Andy: I don't think so, Bar. You look kind of amazing.
Naked Rob: Really amazing. In fact, I'm kind of regretting this very hot, cumbersome coat I'm wearing. I've taken like three sports bets today, and I have no idea what to do with the money.
Andy: Yeah, and I don't like how exposed I have to get when I pee.

Adult Adam: [v.o.] Sometimes what's familiar can be so much sweeter than what's brand-new.
Andy: H-Hey, the Jampilation.
Naked Rob: [sighs] Seems like just yesterday I was hanging from that 6-foot rim while holding my crotch. Where does the time go?

Barry: My closest friends and family don't even feel comfortable being honest with me?
Adam: Bar, it's just... you feel so deeply.
Andy: Plus, you're unstable, irrational, volatile, and... Oh, no, what have I done?
Matt: See, we live in constant fear of how you'll react to even the smallest criticism.
Naked Rob: You're actually ripping up my history paper as we speak.
Barry: Fine. I can be a bit brash at times, and you've all just been okay with this?
Andy: It's been a difficult two decades.
Naked Rob: I have something called trauma dandruff.

Jean Calabasas: Okay, I'll jump right in, or we'll never get home. Show me your moves.
Naked Rob: I have pretty severe arthritis in my ankles.
Barry: It's hilarious.
Naked Rob: Uh, is this gonna be high-octane?
Barry: The highest.
Jean Calabasas: How are your singing voices?
Matt: Not good. I have something called performance burps.
Naked Rob: I produce too much saliva. Will that be an issue?

Naked Rob: My dad said if he'd gotten hired there, our life would have been so much better. Like... Like fix-my-foot better.

Adam: Well, you're here now, so let's start with, "What is an uncle?"
Naked Rob: The husband of an aunt.
Andy: Mother's brother.
Matt: A cousin's male parent.
Naked Rob: Your half-sister's stepdad.
Andy: A father's brother.
Matt: Your dad's friend who doesn't have his own kids.
Adam: And famous uncles?
Matt: Uncle Vanya, the titular character from the Chekhov play.
Barry: Only word I heard is "titular." [chuckles] Next.
Andy: Scrooge McDuck. Hah! All that money, and he couldn't fine peace.
Barry: A personal hero. But I hate feathers. Next!
Naked Rob: Uncle! Like when you tap out and stop trying to think of famous uncles.

Naked Rob: My uncle let me drive his car.
Andy: Oh, that's fun. Like, when you were 15 or something?
Naked Rob: No. No. Recently. Uh, I think his license is suspended and I just taxied him around.

Naked Rob: What if you practice on Andy? He's the side of an average baby.
Andy: [groans] Come on, man.