Erica: And the final stop of our Parents Thursday tour, the majestic parking lot. All right, see you at Thanksgiving.
Beverly: Oh. Okay. [chuckles]
Adult Adam: [v.o.] Success! Erica and Barry had pulled it off. [Beverly slams her car door] Or not.
Beverly: Parents [bleep] Thursday? Really?
Barry: She knows.
Erica: You know?
Beverly: Of course I know.

Beverly: No hearts are gonna break today, not if our ski committee has anything to say about it. Okay, we've got tons to do and no time to do it. Ginz, hit the bakery, get hot chocolate and doughnuts. Linda, call Principal Ball, tell him to unlock the school so we can access the cafeteria. Essie, hit the Baederwood Market. We need a dolly, wax paper, and white zin!
Essie Karp: On it!
Beverly: This is going to be the best non-ski ski trip the world has ever seen!

Beverly: He cut me in half, but I love him twice as much.

Beverly: Erica, it's time to hand me the reins. This is the job for the Yentadex.
Erica: What the hell is that?
Beverly: Every yenta has a Rolodex filled with perfect matches for everyone they know. So buckle up, Bill. You're about to go on the ride of your life.

Erica: Mom, you can't do this.
Beverly: Oh, I just did. You're in my house now. In addition to our regular house, which is also my house.

Adam: Oh, balls! We need to find you three nice ladies to keep you occupied.
Beverly: Adam, stop with the panicking. I've got plenty of friends.
Adam: Let's make a specific list so we're all on the same page.
Beverly: Oh, I got it. Virginia Kremp.
Adam: Good. Just name two more.
Beverly: Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Oh, there's my friend from Jazzercise. Um-
Adam: She sounds incredible.
Beverly: She's got the headband and the thingy...
Adam: Definitely lifelong friend material.
Beverly: What is her name?
Adam: We don't need names! Just like lifelong friends.
Beverly: Essie Karp! That's it. Wow, I really lost touch with her.

Beverly: This will be part of the big Bevolution, then. I need to find a life outside of my little snuggle bugs.

Coach Mellor: Settle down, people. PTA is in session. First order of business, we need a group of volunteers to organize a senior ski trip.
Beverly: Rick, I'll head up the senior ski committee. Virginia Kremp's in, too.
Virginia Kremp: No, I don't even have a kid in the senior class.
Beverly: I just need two more volunteers.
Ruben Amaro, Sr.: I can help.
Beverly: No! Sorry, Ruben Amaro Sr. I didn't mean to yell, but sit down.
Ruben Amaro, Sr.: But my son loves that trip.
Beverly: And we love Ruben Amaro Jr., Ruben Amaro Sr., but this committee is ladies only.

Beverly: There they are. The fearsome foursome is back together again. Come in. Come in, I made cheesecake. I'll dish while we dish.

Adult Adam: [v.o.] While I hit a detour, inside was a race for the perfect Parm.
Beverly: Okay, here you go. Pork Parm Wellington.
Lainey: Attempt number nine, so, dear God, please like it.
Barry: Uh, close enough. Let's just move on to meatloaf burgers.
Beverly: No! Not till we've perfectly baked all 53 ingredients. Or is it 54?
Lainey: I thought you said you knew all the recipes by heart.
Beverly: No yenta in the world can remember every ounce of butter and pinch of salt that goes into this many dishes!