Beverly: Here, try Bevy's secret hangover recipe.
Other Erica: Why does it smell like fish?
Beverly: That's the shrimp. It's the aspirin of the sea. Drink up.

Beverly: In honor of my schmoopie-poop's arrival home and back into my loving arms, I present the most tender brisket ever brisketed.
Erica: How can you brisket at a time like this? Dad's about to come home and lose his mind when he hears I dropped out.
Beverly: That's the point. I know exactly how to butter up your father. You do it with meat. And actual butter.

Beverly: Aww. Look at you two. Snuggled up on the couch. And what the hell is that?
Lainey: Oh, I made us Hungry-Man dinners.
Barry: I'm hungry. I'm a man. It lines up.
Beverly: Well, that was so thoughtful of you to make Barry a delightful mix of mystery meat and radiation.
Lainey: Thank you. I think?
Beverly: Sweetie, I know you grew up in a lawless, broken home, but these frozen, compartment-based dinners are unacceptable for Barry, no offense.
Lainey: You can't just tag "no offense" on the end of something horribly offensive and act like it's okay.

Beverly: You think this is just about cooking? There is so much more that goes into taking care of our Barry.
Lainey: Like what?
Beverly: Washing his Flyers shirts, flipping his covers when he sweats at night, reminding him to make when he waits too long and gets plugged up.
Lainey: What is that? What are you doing?
Beverly: It's the signal for poo-poos. You gotta learn the signal.
Lainey: I don't wanna learn the signal!
Barry: Don't make her do the signal, Mom!
Beverly: She has to learn the signal!
Lainey: I don't wanna learn the signal.
Beverly: Now, this hand is the potty, beckoning the poo-poos, and in they go. Huh? She's not doing it!
Lainey: Of course I'm not doing it!

Jackie: What is on your body right now?
Adam: I kinda ripped my punk-rock jeans on a jagged paving stone, so then I ripped off the other leg to be matchy Like a badass.
Matt: Okay, but what's up with your hair?
Adam: Just how I roll, bro. Also, I forgot to wash out the Sun-In, so then the actual blazing sun overbaked my head when I was loading in those aforementioned paving stones in the back of my ol' wood-paneled rocket here.
Ruben Amaro, Jr.: Okay, but why are you wearing snow gloves?
Adam: Don't own racing gloves, so I'mma tear it up in these Freezy Freakies 'cause I'm crazy like that.
JC Spink: Okay, but why did you bring an old man to a drag race?
Adam: That's my boy Al. Had to drop him off at his sick pad, but the bumpy car ride lulled him to sleep. Which is good, 'cause he would not approve of my drag-racing lifestyle.