Laurie: Hi, Kelso. Oh, look! It's chocolate batter. I sure do wish I could finish all this chocolate batter on my finger, but I just can't. Oh! Guess I can. Bye.
Kelso: Man, I was so close!

Laurie: Who you talking to?
Kelso: [hits head] Oh! Aah... Oh. Hello... Laurie. What are you doing here?
Laurie: I'm bored. There's nothing on TV. So, this is your new ride, huh?
Kelso: It is.
Laurie: It's really, uh, roomy.
Kelso: Listen, Laurie, uh... I don't think you should be in here. I mean, I know we've made out a couple dozen times. Uh-huh.
Laurie: Twice.
Kelso: Okay. Uh... But that's over.
Laurie: Gosh, I sure do feel close to you, Kelso.
Kelso: [whimpers] Listen, Laurie, I... I don't think my girlfriend, Jackie would like you sitting on me.
Laurie: I think you like me sitting on you. In fact, I know you do.
Kelso: Okay... But that's not the point.
Laurie: [kisses Kelso] Shut up, Kelso. This is your lucky day.
Kelso: [o.s.] Laurie, don't. Stop. Hey... Those are my pants!

Eric: Kelso took your underwear.
Laurie: Aw, that's like the third pair.
Eric: Ew.

Eric: So, Donna and I are all set for Vanstock.
Kelso: Whoa. Donna can't come with us.
Eric: Why not?
Kelso: Well... it's kind of complicated.
Laurie: [enters] Hey, Kelso. So what time are we leaving for Vanstock?
Eric: No.
Kelso: Yeah.
Eric: No!
Kelso: Yeah!
Eric: No!
Laurie: [giggles] I guess you should have given me your car, Eric. Now I'll be with you and Kelso all weekend.

Kitty: Laurie, were you cheating?
Laurie: You can't prove anything.
Kitty: Oh, for God's sake.
Laurie: Okay. Well, if you weren't such a crappy card player, then I wouldn't have had to cheat. And you were gonna lose all your mad money, and Midge bugs me.
Kitty: You were cheating so I would win.
Laurie: Duh! I wanted you to have a little fun.
Kitty: Well... Gosh, that's sweet.
Laurie: Yeah. [kisses Kitty] I love you, Mommy. [takes some money]

Laurie: And I guess I've just been too concerned with the needs of others and I haven't thought enough about myself. Kelso?
Kelso: [wakes up] Yeah? Yeah. Listening.
Laurie: So, what do you think?
Kelso: Well, uh, I... Agree?
Laurie: Really?
Kelso: Yeah! Okay, I mean, everything you said makes so much sense.

Laurie: Here, loser, Mom wants you to put this on.
Kelso: Hey, Laurie.
Laurie: Where have you been, you idiot?
Kelso: Oh, well, Jackie was...
Laurie: I told you never to say that name to me. We have a relationship!
Kelso: See, that's true, so...
Laurie: Shut up!

Hyde: So you didn't tell her?
Eric: I felt so guilty. I just... I couldn't.
Laurie: Is it because you're kinda glad it's dead?
Eric: No.

Kelso: I don't want to live with this lie anymore, because I only love Jackie.
Laurie: Okay. So, do you want to go up to my room and have sex?
Kelso: Uh... Sure! [chuckles] No, wait! No! No! Okay. I just... This... Laurie, I... I'm serious. We are over.
Laurie: Wow! I think you really mean it.
Kelso: I totally do.
[Laurie sees Jackie walk up outside the sliding door]
Laurie: Okay, Kelso, you're free. You know what I'd like, though? Just one last good-bye kiss?
Kelso: Um... Okay, well, sure. [they kiss]
Jackie: [enters] Michael!
Kelso: Jackie! We were... No! There was...
Laurie: Wow! How ironic, huh?

Hyde: Oh, Laurie. Are you all out of put-downs?
Laurie: Yeah, I guess I'm having an off day. Even Eric burned me.
Hyde: Eric burned you? You are totally lame.
Laurie: I know, isn't that pathetic? Eric.
Eric: What about me?
Laurie: Speaking of the spindly-armed devil.
Eric: What's so pathetic?
Laurie: Nothing. At least nothing we can share with you, gomer.
Eric: Oh, yeah, well... Nice hair. [Laurie and Hyde laugh] What?