Leslie Knope: I have to come up with some solution for this slug problem.
Chris: Someone has a slug infestation? Boy, oh, boy, we live interesting lives, filled with unexpected challenges. Life is precious, and every day is a miracle. Okay.
Ann: What a freak.
[aside to camera:]
Ann: Things with me and Chris are going really well. We spend every day together, and we're having so much fun. And check this out. Oh, no, there's no ring. We just had manicures together recently. Sorry, that was misleading.

Leslie Knope: Wow. I feel sorry for her. I mean, nobody can fill your shoes, Ann. With your tiny little doll feet.
Ann: Actually, that's what I wanted to talk to you about. I, uh, I'm gonna step down, and I'm gonna turn my job over to Evelyn.
Leslie Knope: What? No. Did somebody put you up to this? Was it Evelyn? I knew she was a monster.
Ann: No. No, no, no. Chris and I have been talking, and we are thinking very seriously about leaving Pawnee and moving somewhere else to start our family-- Oh, my God, look at that. It's waffles! Delicious waffles.
Leslie Knope: Wait.
Ann: Should we try? Yeah, let's try.
Leslie Knope: Huh?
Ann: Mmm.
Leslie Knope: Wait, what were you saying?
Ann: Try. Just enjoy. Yeah. There we go.

[aside to camera:]
Ann: Leslie's been holding it together pretty well, but today is when she needs us the most. That's why we formed the Leslie Knope emotional support task force.
Ben: Anything she could possibly need to get her through these final hours, we got it covered... Back rubs, YouTube videos of turtles and birds becoming friends...
Ann: A poster announcing the new Lilith Fair concert. It's fake, but it'll buy us an hour.
Ben: We even have a secret hand signal in case we think she needs help. It's loosely based on the Klingon greeting salute.
Ann: I just learned that. And if I had known, I would not have agreed to it.

Ann: You are avoiding your problems.
Leslie Knope: What? No, I'm not. Can we talk about this tomorrow?
Ann: You were down in the polls. Your opponents were well funded and well organized. You must have known this would be a possibility.
Leslie Knope: Intellectually, I knew that I might be in trouble, but deep in my heart, I never really thought...
Ann: Ben and I tried to help you, but as usual, you're the best person for the job. I wrote this. You need to hear yourself read this.
Leslie Knope: "They held the recall election, and I lost." "I was voted out of office." "In 30 days, I will no longer be a Pawnee city councilor." Oh, it's so hard to read when you're drunk.
Ann: Keep going.
Leslie Knope: [clears throat] "But I am Leslie Knope." "I am more than a city councilor." "I am an unstoppable force of energy." "And I will use those days to work as hard as I can."
Ann: These are all your ongoing projects, everything you're currently working on for Pawnee. You have things to do. You have a month left. Use it.
Leslie Knope: Ann, you poetic and noble land mermaid, you're right once again. Thank you.

Leslie Knope: The votes have been counted, and I have been recalled. I am, of course, disappointed. But I am still your City councilwoman for 30 more days, and I intend to spend every second I have left working for you and this great city.
[aside to camera:]
Ben: The thing about being part of the Leslie Knope emotional support task force is that it's a very easy job. She's never down for that long.
Ann: And now that she's had a little time to recharge, she is like a toddler bouncing back from a nap.
Leslie Knope: Hey! There you guys are. Okay, Ben, I need some help with the re-zoning thing. Also, I think we should paint our deck, so I have some color samples for you. And to thank you both for being there when I needed you, I carved your faces into these Jack-o-lanterns. Ann, it was very hard to capture your beauty, and, Ben, you make a sexy pumpkin... No surprise. Love you both. See you later.

Chris: I will be thrilled if we have a girl.
Ann: Oh, tiny dresses? Braids? Glitter on everything? Forget it.
Chris: And also, girls' names are so cute. Daisy, Annabelle, Lilly.
Ann: Olive, rosemary, chicken. Fifty burritos. Oh, my God, I'm starving. Miss, hi! I'm pregnant, and I'm a little bit crazy. So if you don't bring our appetizers out in the next 30 seconds, I'm gonna plunge your face into the deep fryer!
Chris: And also two waters, please. But no hurry.
Ann: Thank you.

Chris: Well, Ann Perkins, are you ready to find out the sex of our baby?
Ann: I'm ready.
Chris: We are having a... "distributions." That's what it looks like: Distributions.
Ann: Let me see that. It says "congratulations," I think. Then it says, "I...leg smurf." Are we having a smurf?
Chris: We are having a... "11-jewel toilet."
Ann: I can't tell what's words and what's punctuation! The suspense is killing me!
Chris: I'm calling Dr. Saperstein.
Ann: I'm calling Domino's. Do you think Domino's delivers to this restaurant? I hope so.

Chris: Ann Perkins! How are you feeling?
Ann: You don't want to know.
Chris: It's all I want to know.
Ann: All right, man, you asked for it. I have shooting pains that go all the way up from my butt to my neck. My stomach has so many stretch marks on it that it looks like an old-fashioned globe. My boobs are getting really sore. Also, I just read Brooke Shields' book on post-partum depression. Now I have pre-post-partum depression anxiety.

Ann: Leslie can't watch anything with Julie Andrews in it before bedtime because it gets her too hyper.
Ben: Okay. If Chris gets cranky around noon, just stuff some chia seeds into a fig, works every time.
Ann: Awesome, thank you. Wow, we really picked some intense people to spend our lives with, huh?
Ben: Yeah.

Ann: [on voicemail] Listen to me very carefully. I have not been taken. I know that's always your first fear when I'm not available, but this is not a Liam Neeson Taken scenario.
Leslie Knope: That's exactly what they'd make you say.
Ann: Also, no one's making me say this. I am a free woman, untaken, simply going about my business. I just have to run. Something came up. I love you, and I'll call you later.