Ann Quote #213

Quote from Ann in Farmers Market

Chris: Ann Perkins! How are you feeling?
Ann: You don't want to know.
Chris: It's all I want to know.
Ann: All right, man, you asked for it. I have shooting pains that go all the way up from my butt to my neck. My stomach has so many stretch marks on it that it looks like an old-fashioned globe. My boobs are getting really sore. Also, I just read Brooke Shields' book on post-partum depression. Now I have pre-post-partum depression anxiety.

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 ‘Farmers Market’ Quotes

Quote from Ann

Donna: I'll cede my time to Ann. I have a feeling this is gonna be good.
Ann: Okay, well, I'm not gonna talk for long, 'cause I have to pee again, 'cause I have to pee every six minutes, 'cause I have a beach ball in my stomach that's punching on my bladder.
Donna: [chuckles] That sucks.
Ann: I know. And I'm never not hungry.
Jerry: Oh, well, have some cheese.
Ann: I can't have cheese, Larry! And I can't have wine either. I can't have anything good. You know, what I can have is liquefied flaxseed. But I don't want that. You know what I want? Pork rinds. I want jelly beans. And I want a huge trash bag filled with mashed potatoes. I want to be Pac-Man, and instead of dots, I want 'em to be cinnamon buns. I want to be a giant head and a mouth, and I just want to eat rows and rows of junk food pellets, and where's my trash bag of potatoes? [groans]
Tom: Time.
Donna: Yikes.

Quote from Leslie Knope

Leslie Knope: Ben, do something.
Ben: What do you want me to do?
Leslie Knope: Well, you're the city manager. Kick them out. They're violating every single one of the Farmers Market's rules of conduct.
Ben: By "rules of conduct," do you mean that wooden sign you made that says, "Peas be kind to others"?
Leslie Knope: Yes, and "In case of fire, romaine calm," and "You won't bay leaf how nice olive our vendors are." I don't like vegetables, but I'm very good at vegetable puns.

Quote from Leslie Knope

Ben: Okay, Harrison Ford movie night.
Leslie Knope: Before we do that, I was thinking more about that chard guy. I mean, it would be very easy for you to revoke their license.
Ben: Okay, Leslie, this is city business, and I'm not an emperor. I can't just kick them out for no reason.
Leslie Knope: The reason is it's vegetable porn. Porn on the cob. I'm sorry. I'm just very good at that.