Reagan: Uh, can I... can I practice my presentation on you?
Nick: Sure. But I'm bored already.
Reagan: Okay.
Nick: This stuff's really boring for me. For everybody, I guess.
Reagan: Hmm. [sultry] Hepatitis C can be a long... arduous experience. But now discover Zilpoza from Wudai Pharmaceuticals. FDA approval... pending double-blind study. If you've had cirrhosis or kidney disease, Zilpoza... may not... be right... [whispers] for... you.
Nick: [laughing] You think I'm a 13-year-old boy? I know what you're doing.
Reagan: What am... what am I doing?
Nick: You're trying to lead me on, and I won't have it. Case closed! You're having Winston!
Reagan: Great, I'm having Winston.
Nick: Uh... [starts to stand up, sits back down] Mm. [exhales] [wheels away in the chair] It's so juvenile, what you're doing. A dib is a dib.

Reagan: I will be putting the A/C in my room and everyone is welcome.
Nick: No, thank you. We're good. I speak for all of us.
Reagan: Well, we are observing gym rules, so make sure you wipe down anything you plan to sit on.

Reagan: So, I mean, I feel like I really put myself out there, right? I got on a plane, and I flew across the country to see him. I couldn't get him out of my head, you know?
Jess: Yeah. [chuckles] Yeah.
Reagan: And then he says the word "relationship," and I freaked out, because... [chuckles] You know what, I don't know. Am I crazy to want a relationship with Nick? I mean, you guys were together. What happened?
Jess: We were kind of a mess. I wanted him to have a plan for his life and not keep his money in a box in his closet. And... he wanted me to not care about those things.
Reagan: That's not so bad. I mean, who really has a plan for their life?
Jess: [chuckles] Who does that? [chuckles] Me. Me. I d... I did it. I do it.
Reagan: I'm sure there are plenty of guys out there who keep a very traditional banking account.
Jess: Yeah. There are. And I just dated one of 'em. And I... I don't think any of that stuff matters.
Reagan: Thank you. You are awesome.
Jess: Thanks.
Reagan: I'm gonna go do this.

Cece: I feel horrible.
Nick: You have no idea. She and I got in a thing. I said something so stupid.
Reagan: [door opens] Sleigh!
Others: Hey, Reagan.
Reagan: Really? Do you know how hard it was to put this thing on in an airplane bathroom?
Schmidt: Do I.

Jess: You concentrate on Donovan. I'll go see if I can drum up some new clients.
Cece: Very sweet, but the audition is in six hours from now. So we have no time to look for new clients.
Reagan: Well, recruiting is just like sales, I mean selling a job is just like selling drugs. I do that every day.
Cece: Are you offering to help, too?
Reagan: Honestly, I wasn't. But based on how intensely you're staring at me, I guess I've boxed myself into a corner here, so...

Jess: Hey, um, how's he doing?
Reagan: Not very good. And if I'm being honest with you, I'm starting to freak out now. This is me freaking out.
Jess: Do I sometimes wonder if you're a robot? Yeah.

Reagan: And don't you worry about accommodations, because we also took care of that.
Nick: You got your very own hotel room. It's adjacent to ours, but it's very private.
Reagan: I mean, it is called a peekaboo suite, so there might be a little bit of crossover.

Nick: [whistles] Whoa, drug companies have a lot of money. Well, this is great. I feel like you finally brought me to your home planet.
Reagan: Yeah. I'm really glad you came.
Nick: All right. So tell me about these pharm reps I'm about to meet.
Reagan: I mean, I don't know what I can really tell you about them. We sort of became friends at these conventions, and we go from city to city with each other. It's kind of like camp friends? Except everybody's, uh, slept together a whole lot. It's exactly like camp friends, I guess.
Nick: All these people have had sex with each other?
Reagan: Mostly, yeah.
Nick: Mostly. And with you? You had sex with the... Yeah? Why wouldn't you?
Nick: Yeah. Oh, you guys are like groupies, but for yourself. I dig it.

Jack: So, Reagan, you gonna save me a pas de deux tonight?
Reagan: Okay. [laughter]
Nick: What's going on? What are you guys laughing at? I don't get the joke.
Lucy: Well, you do know that she was a professionally trained ballet dancer?
Nick: You never told me you were a ballerina.
Reagan: I sort of shattered both of my ankles in this thing I refer to as "The Crackening."
Nick: Your ankles? Like, both your ankles?
Reagan: And both of my knees and a little bit of my pelvis.
Nick: What?

Reagan: San Diego.
Nick: The wonderful San Diego.
Reagan: Where are we staying?
Nick: Not sure. Maybe we're gonna get the nicest hotel in the city, huh? Maybe you're gonna stay there, and maybe I'm gonna head back to Los Angeles today.
Reagan: I'm gonna stay in San Diego, and you're gonna go back?
Nick: Who knows what's gonna happen down there? That's the fun of a trip like this.
Reagan: Nick, you would tell me if you were gonna murder me, right?
Nick: No, 'cause then you could prepare for it, you silly.