Reagan: Please just come into my room? It's right there.
Nick: It's not even hot in reality.
Reagan: You're obviously suffering from heat exhaustion.
Nick: It's like a crisp Vermont November. Apple cider, football weather. Don't jump in a pile of leaves. There might be a dead dog in there.
Reagan: You're slurring your speech. Soon you're gonna get dizzy, you're gonna get cramps.
Nick: Why do you care so much, Reagan?
Reagan: Because you look like a dying man on a hospital show.

Nick: Uh, two duffel bags, that's all?
Reagan: Yeah, well, I travel light... which is lucky for me, because the only way I could get here from the airport was to split a cab with a lady who was eating a sub from the middle.

Reagan: Okay, well how about you? You want to go out and maybe have like a little ladies' night? I just feel like getting really dumb.
Jess: Yeah. Dude, I'm the dumbest.
Reagan: It's a date. I am gonna take a seven-minute power nap and then go for a run to preempt all of this damage we're gonna do.

Reagan: The line between what we're doing and being creepy is so thin.

Reagan: Hey, uh, have you guys seen my purple sweater?
Nick: Uh, no. And, by the way, we've made our decision.
Reagan: Wow. That was fast. You have until 9:00.
Nick: We don't need it. You'll be having Winston.
Winston: That's me. I'm Winston.
Reagan: Great. Don't eat for two hours before. I'm really looking forward to it. Bring your A-game, okay? Any previous injuries that I need to know about? Bring something to numb your mouth. Oh. Look. The sweater was in my hand the whole time.

Nick: So that's where you'd put your, uh, body at night. Alone or with somebody. Up to you.
Winston: Ooh.
Reagan: Well, I like the room.
Nick: Great.
Reagan: I think I just want to get rid of the pillows, the yarn, the tote bags and anything else that makes me
feel racist against white people.
Winston: That's everything Jess owns, now, isn't it, Nick?
Nick: Gone. It's all gone. We'll take care of it.

Nick: Well, that one diner has the best bacon.
Winston: Great bacon.
Nick: So I don't know.
Reagan: Ugh, come on, guys. Please, God, we're entering minute 20 of the great brunch debate.
Winston: The other diner does have that special fruit cup.
Reagan: Other diner. Fruit cup. Let's go.
Winston: However, when I think about it, huge crowd looking for that special fruit cup.
Nick: Smart. So now we got to think line versus bacon.
Reagan: Please, I am starving. Make a decision. [to Schmidt & Cece] Oh, hi. Do you guys want to join us? We are going for brunch in seven days.

Nick: [answers phone] Hey, I was just about to call you.
Reagan: Nick, look, there's something that I wish I would've said to you last night, but I didn't, so I'm gonna say it right now. Sayonara, Sammy.
Nick: [to himself] Those are such beautiful words. I'm Sammy. [clears throat]
Reagan: Hello?
Nick: Reagan... I'm gonna need some time to process everything you just said.
Reagan: Yeah. I really put myself out there.
Nick: Yeah. I... Hey... in light of recent events, I think it's important that we have each other's current information. Reagan: I mean, I know I have your phone number because I just dialed it and I have your address because I lived there. 'Cause Jess said it on TV. I've got a flight to catch.
Nick: Me, too.
Reagan: Bye, Nick.

Jess: [on the phone] So fly down for one night. What could be more romantic or magical? I will orchestrate the whole surprise. Lighting, blocking, costumes...
Reagan: Okay, you know what? I... I'm in.
Jess: You are? I thought I was gonna have to give you the hard sell.
Reagan: That's part of the reason why I'm in. But... also, I haven't seen Nick in a couple weeks, and I really miss his nonsense. And that ass... am I right?

Reagan: [on the phone] You said that the pill sold itself, so let me ask you, is the pill a cure for a kick in the balls? Because you're gonna need it.